Life The Movie: Tyra Banks Living in a Harvard Dorm

Out of all the places a person could live, no one location got better press last year than the Harvard dorms. Through the lens of "The Social Network," they came across as an ideal breeding ground for billionaires, friendships, and ornate mahogany woodwork. Beers flowed freely, equations written on windows, and human civilization changing forever Now, those dorms just got a dose human anatomy! According to this report, Tyra Banks is currently attending Harvard business school and living in the residence halls! Baaaaayum! In the words of my fellow internet personality Jay Judah---That's hot fire!

Just imagine some business nerds, fresh off winning the DECA High School championship settling into their new dorm at Harvard. They go to introduce themselves to their dorm neighbors, they're expecting a geek, but they get T Banks. Dayum! Heyah we go! Chaos in the dorms. Financial models in upheaval. Super power violent bad mama jama ultra babe next door. It's going to be a wild semester!

The fact that a Sports Illustrated model is living in the Harvard dorms is highly comedic to me. The situation above has to happen in some capacity, right? It's life as zany college comedy. Then again, isn't all life in college a comedy? Go ask DJ Stalemate if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Life The Movie: "The Day After Tomorrow" & The Current Winter Storm

This winter storm that's messing up everything from the Superbowl to the power grid is straight up movie status. And to honor that, thislalife reader Bob G for sending in this photo from Wisconsin. That's him in the background with his hands up!

The Day After Tomorrow

Life The Movie: Pentagon Official's Body in Landfill

In the midst of reports of birds falling out of the sky, fish dying en masse, an incredible homeless radio announcer, and the LOST numbers almost winning the lottery an very interesting story has surfaced. According to reports, John P. Wheeler, a Pentagon official was found dead, but it's not like he was dead in his apartment. His body was recovered in a landfill in Delaware.

While I don't want to discredit Mr. Wheeler's legacy or speak ill will of him during his family's grievance this story sounds like it's straight out of a movie.  Mr Wheeler worked with Mitre Corp, a private corporation with military contracts and was a huge supporter of the Vietnam war memorial. According to this report his behavior at the end of the his life was increasingly erratic. Bodies in landfill's are usually clear signs that someone didn't want it to get found. Check out this classic scene from the Departed.

Fitzy: I spent all fucking night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebody walking a fucking dog ? What fucking size a dog is that? Has to be a big fucking dog, man. I spent all night doing it man. 
[pause, Frank stares at him] 
Fitzy: I'm embarrassed. I still don't believe he was a cop, I don't believe it. 
Frank Costello: The COPS... are saying he's a cop... so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you... to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him *IN* the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday


Sounds too me like someone in The Pentagon / Mitre Corp is having a Frank Costello moment. And if someone is having a Costello moment then some ambitious young aide is starting to put the pieces together and ask questions. Chances are people are telling that young aide that the answers to his questions are a little bit above his "pay grade." There also might be a trip to Columbia, why Columbia? Clearly you haven't seen the underrated Clear and Present Danger. Either way, the death of Mr. Wheeler is ripped from the pages of a Hollywood thriller, and just goes to show that, life is a movie.

I'm Still Here (The Rest of Us Are Gone)

This past weekend I caught "I'm Still Here," aka the "Joaquin Phoenix movie" at a matinee and my mind was absolutely shattered to pieces by it.  To use some of my old language, it was a mind melt with extra cheddar maybe even some DJ Steve velveeta. Initially was lukewarm to the film because I couldn't tell if it was authentic or not, so when director Casey Affleck revealed in the New York Times that it was all a spoof, I had to see it right away.

The film opens with footage of a "young Joaquin" jumping off a waterfall into jungle spring in Panama. Right away we know that his is a life that has constantly been on screen. What follows is a bizarre narrative of Phoenix trying to become a serious hip hop musician. But this is not a film about Phoenix's musical ineptitude, it's a film about the negative culture of celebrity and entertainment that is dominating our land.

Early in the film, Phoenix states that he "feels stuck as a character in his own life." Upon hearing this I was reminded by Neal Gabler's classic book Life The Movie: How Entertainment Conquered Reality. In that book Gabler asserts that the real lives of celebrities are the purest form of entertainment. At one point in the story, Phoenix talks about he feels like a puppet, with everyone else pulling the strings. He then spends the film and spends the film fighting for his self identity against these puppet masters,

When one thinks of a "puppet master" one thinks of a single person pulling the strings on someone's career. This is a very 20th century way of viewing celebrity. Individual celebrity is now shaped by the people, people like you and me, who crave the 24 hour news cycle. Affleck makes a point to show us in every public appearance just how many people have their camera phones out, how many youtube videos people have sharing their opinions, how many news sources cover every second of his life. There is another level in that the talking heads we see in the film include ourselves. Everyone was talking about his famed Letterman appearance when it occurred, not just the internet, we lived this story.

Unlike other fake documentaries like "Borat"(a link to a old school college article) and "Bruno," where Sacha Baron Cohen tricks people and the audience laughs along, there isn't much laughter in this film. As viewers have a personal history with the "character" (I mean who didn't love Gladiator), so seeing a familiar face apparently go off the rails is uncomfortable.  The strange feeling of watching it "fall apart" is enhanced because the character is not some silly Kazak, but a two time Academy Award nominated actor.

Halfway through the film Edward James Olmos shows up and plays the part of Obi Wan Kenobi to Phoenix. Everything Olmos says is beyond deep, but the crux of it is that only in the darkest parts of our lives do we find rebirth. He explains that life is a cycle and a person like a water drop, must evaporate, and be reborn to reclaim his self worth. This is heady stuff and is the only scene in the movie where Phoenix is totally focused on someone's words. He carries this with him as he falls to pieces on his infamous Letterman appearance.

He takes this advice and descends on the panamian jungle to visit his "father." It is here among the lush forest and waterfalls that he truly finds peace. Away from the cameras, away from the people, away from technology he wades through the waters where the film began until he is submerged, disappeared from the culture of reality TV narratives, camera plagues, and TMZ.

And now we face the real question. If he has succeeded in destroying his image, are we witnessing his rebirth? Check out this picture of him sneaking into the Venice Premiere of the film. Well first off, he'll be on Letterman tonight, and make no mistake, everything is riding on this appearance.  He has emerged victorious over the puppet masters and now he need to tell us what he really is. Is he an asshole? A genius actor? A stupid actor? A rapper? A son? A brother? A friend? A two time academy award nominee? What is he? Who is he?

He is himself and we're just the puppet masters. Are we still us?