A Couple Things About The Expendables 2 Poster

1. There is some crazy hair going on in this poster. We have Stallone's artfully trimmed mustacheaotee, Arnold's blow out hair cut, Bruce's bald done, Chuck Norris's beard, and Lundgren's flowing golden trestles.
2. Are they standing in front of a Volcano? What can this tell us about the plot
3. The last movie called EX2 was "X2: X Men United" and that movie was the shit, this bodes very well for The Expendables 2
4. Jet Li's name is listed on the partner but he is absent from the volcano action? What is fame?
5. Also worth mentioning is that the "young" expendable Liam Hemsworth is nowhere to be seen.
6. This movie is going to be just as "good" as the first one.
7. I'm getting a serious Putin vibe from Van Damme up there on the top right
8. Will Terry Crews be able to top his legendary "Remember this shit at Christmas" line from the first film. That is a question that keeps me up at night.
9. Nice that we have advanced so far in gender politics that there can be a woman on the poster. Change is real.
10. Seriously, I cannot wait for this movie. I'm definitely there opening night.

Expendables 2 Casts Arnold, Sly, and Bruce

That sound you hear is a thousand serious actors starting to cry because the master thespians Bruce Willis, Sly Stallone, and Ahnnnnulld are back. It has just been announced that the power trio will return with bigger roles in the sequel which comes out next year.

The Expendables: Mission Accomplished

Stallone had one primary goal in making The Expendables and he achieved it. This goal was not to make a masterpiece of a film. It was not to showcase the fine acting talent he assembled. It wasn't to create an exhibition of his talents as a writer, director, producer and star. The goal was to punch the world in the face and remind it that badass tough guys still exist.

Stallone made the film because he was worried about the state of the action film. He told me and he told others that he felt there was a void of tough guys on the screen. Clint Eastwood and John Wayne are pissed, because we've let the cinematic tough guy become a wise-cracking half robot nerd in a shiny red suit. Stallone couldn't let this stand, so he assembled a group of fighters, kickers, shooters, knife throwers, and existential poets to remind us that yes, badasses are here to stay.

The Expendables is not a great film. The plot is rudimentary at best, the acting, or at least the acting that doesn't involve guns is terrible, and Stallone's directing is bizzare. However, when the pain starts getting inflicted, the film really ascends on it's ass-kicking strength. The last 30 minutes are some of the most fun I've had at the movies in years. Just sheer cinematic chaos of the highest order.

It will be interesting to see where the action film goes from here. Are we going to witness the re-birth of the tough guy actor. I mean Jason Statham can't do all the work? Perhaps The Rock's new film "Faster" a return from the Disney films of late will help usher this in. Nic Cage's "Drive Angry" could also be a contender, but I think Cage is too loopy to hold the torch. Or is the effect of the film almost instantaneous, I mean "Machete" opens September 3rd.

There are many things to like about "The Expendables." The Arnold cameo is short, Danny Devito short, but got dayum was it awesome. This guy has to return the screen, his absence has only made his legend bigger. Mickey Rourke's crazy speech about his black heart, how black? "Dracullla Black" brother is a camp masterpiece. Terry Crews, the original Old Spice guy making meatballs in an hallway (that is a metaphor). And finally, Sly, yeah he's old, he doesn't run as fast as he used to, but got dayum, my hats off to him for saving the tough guy genre. Well, at least until THE AVENGERS comes out.

Welcome To Expendables Week!

The countdown to "E-Day" has begun! All week I'll be bringing you action only content that will get you so pumped up for the film on Friday that you will punch the ticket holder. I'm just kidding about that, but seriously, has there ever been an action movie this decade more rawly anticipated than this one? I've been covering the film for over a year, and the fact that it is coming out this week has got me going to the gym, drinking whiskey, smoking cigars, and speaking in one liners all week. Here is what we got on tap this week.

• A clip featuring each star of the movie kicking ass and regulating
• Guest Bloggers shedding light on their favorite action films
• Explosive Facts About The Movie
• A brief synopsis of my brief history with Stallone
• And More

So to get things started. Enjoy this Call To Arms to get things going

New Expendables Trailer Saves The Summer?

WOW! Man, this get's my pumped up for this flick. After Inception this weekend, EXPENDABLES is the film to see! (via the playlist)

Five Reasons To Still Be Excited About Summer Movies

For many people there are only two movies that matter in Summer 2010: Iron Man 2 and Inception. Tony Stark and his mechanical friends have came and mostly departed, and people seemed pleased with what they got. The other film, Christopher Nolan's "Inception" is still more than a month away and if you believe the general tone when people talk about the summer, this is the only movie that matters. Well, I'm here to tell you that those people are right, "Inception" is probably going to be the cinematic messiah that everyone is making it out to be. However, there are some other movies coming out this summer that people should still be pumped about. And I'm here to tell you what they are:

1. Knight & Day - Once upon a time, Tom Cruise's public persona was locked into full Scientology mode. He tried to fight it, he played a one eyed German and masses weren't happy. Then he realized that rather than fight his public image he should embrace it. The result, the hilarious Les Grossman and the new film Knight and Day. It's clear that he is playing himself on steroids, albeit one that kills people, hey who knows, maybe he does that in real life too (note, he doesn't use bullets, he uses his mind).

2. Predators - At first the only thing people were brewing about regarding this movie was how they didn't think Adrien Brody could be a badass. After the second trailer though, it seems people are talking about how savage this film could potentially be. The entire movie is a risk, the director Nimrod Atal is relatively new, and some of the cast (Topher Grace, Alice Braga, Adrian Brody) are starring in a new genre. If this beast of film gets even remotely good reviews, consider me ready to rock and roll.

3. The Other Guys - Adam McKay makes funny ass movies. They may not win awards or earn you points when you tell your snooty Kubrick loving friends that you liked them, but "Anchorman" "Talledega Nights" and "Step-Brothers" are hilarious. Will Ferrell is still around and he is joined by underated comedic actors Samuel L Jackson and Dwayne Johnson.

4. The Expendables - I recently read this article about how this movie is going to be more insane than people think it is going to be. People already thought it was going to be crazy, so make of that what you will. See my pages of Expendables hype here

5.  Scott Pilgrim Vs The World - While I'm not completely sold on this movie, I'm including it on this list because it looks fresher than summer tomatoes and basil from an earthy garden. In a world of 3D remakes, reboots, and rebirths this film boasts a new visual style that deserves to be mentioned. Edgar Wright's previous films "Hot Fuzz" and "Shaun of the Dead" are both almost perfect and it looks like he's taking some massive chances here. I hope it pays off. 

How Hardcore Is The Expendables? Neck Breaking Hardcore

That poor man who is being "operated" on by Doctor Stallone in the photo now can have the last laugh. Word has leaked from the Sly man himself that while shooting a fight scene with Steve Austin (yes, I'm referring to the one and only STONE COLD Steve Austin) Stallone's neck was actually broken. This is what Stallone said in this months issue of FHM.

"Actually, my fight with Stone Cold Steve Austin was so vicious that I ended up getting a hairline fracture in my neck. I'm not joking. I haven't told anyone this, but I had to have a very serious operation afterwards. I now have a metal plate in my neck."

Like Stallone didn't already have a metal plate in his neck, please, who do you think you're kidding? We all know you had one added to your neck when you were shooting "Judge Dredd." Just how batshit insane crazy can "The Expendables" get? What's next? We'll learn that all those "stunt men" who were supposedly "acting" were really actually getting blown to bacon bits by Stallone and his friends.

Now We're Talking: Expendables Trailer!!

THEY PULLED THE TRAILER!!! NOW YOU HAVE TO SETTLE FOR THIS

Expendables- not in the dictionary, which makes sense cause this movie looks so insane, it couldn't even fit in the dictionary! Based off this trailer it contains the following

1. Schwarenegger, Stallone, Statham, Ludgren, Li, Roberts Rourke, Couture, Crews, Willis, and Austin. If you don't know all those names, look them up, it will provide with an explosive morning of adventure.

2. Evil African dudes saying "wjeee weilll kellll dem"

3. Evil Latino dudes saying something about "American Disease," damn lots of people really don't like us.

4. Water boarding, because why the hell not?

5. Jokes about macho men recieving text messages? Really? Stallone? Come on now, this isn't "Stop or my Mom will shoot"

6. Randy the Ram apparently alive and well after "The Wrestler."

7. Jokes about Jet Li's Asian accent (Stallone really got a thing for minority stereotypes)

8. Explosions and in the words of JJ "hot fire."

9. Arterial blood sprays, which is good because we know it will be in the vein of the hilariously/disturbing/dream shattering  Rambo IV.

10. Plenty of grunting, which in action movies is a good thing