Jack's back, the entourage continues, and the blood stay's mostly true

Last night on the television was a big one. Two popular shows ("Entourage" and "True Blood") ended their seasons and one hugely popular show returned after being absent for more than a year ("24"). I'm going to briefly share my thoughts of each of the three. Starting with the worst and ended up with the return of the modern day action hero, Jack "Torture Me" Bauer.

Just as plenty of girls flock to NYC to seek out their "Sex and the City" dreams, complete with Mr. Big's and cupcakes at Magnolia, "Entourage" is the same, except it's with dudes migrating to LA to seek money, power, respect, and babes. It's about friendship, sex, power, fame, fashion, more naked babes, and money. That being said, the season finale was decent, but not good enough. I don't care for Vinnie Chase cause he's a movie star, his problems are nothing compared to the rest of the world. My teachers at school always said "raise the stakes" and when you're a movie star trying to get a role, it's just not that interesting compared to saving African refuges.

This show, new this season, is "Twilight" for grown-ups and kid's who can get through their cable box's parental codes. Full of sex, blood, and violence, yet also jam packed with strong characters, the show has been a pleasant surprise. The finale was decent and wrapped up the major plot threads, it did a decent job of setting up next season, but it didn't pack that oh damn, shit, I gotta call my buddies moment as most finales do.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, so good to have my boy Jack Bauer back on the TV, taking names and getting tortured for the good of others. Full disclosure here, I'm straight monkey bananas about this show. I see past all the politics, improbable plot lines, weak seasons, and ultra-dramatic story arcs and see it for what it is. Pure, action spy dankness (that means good). This "movie" or warm for the new season was just what I needed. You had bad villians, new tag lines (Kill the Cock-co-roach!", and Jack Bauer throwing dynamite at bad dudes. The washington DC scenes were interesting enough to set up the season, but the real star here was Jack, saving the world, one African refuge at a time (he's even giving out scarfs). I'm pumped to have this show back. And those people who are counting, I think Bauer took down about 13 dude's last night. Hopefully the people at 24 kill count will keep track.

Life in the Era of JB (Bauer, Bourne, and Bond)

My mom once described James Bond movies as all about "killing people and throwing women in closets." In some sense every Bond movie up to "Casino Royale" was essentially about this. Bond was the smooth mack; a secret agent with the flyest gadgets, the right words with the ladies, and the deadly skills to dispatch enemies with gentle ease. Yet something happened: the world changed and James Bond changed with it.

The new Bond reflects the world of the 21st century. Villains are no longer simple dictators like they were in the cold war. The villains are corporate business men and small parts of organizations that span the globe. And with villains like these stalking the the seven continents, James Bond does not have time to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, drink martinis, or chase women.

"Die Another Day", the last Brosnan, and traditional Bond came out in 2002. This means it had been in development for at least a year. In 2001, "24" aired it's first season and in 2002 the first Bourne movie came out. It is no coincidence that the Bond ("Casino Royale") after these two spy franchises was completely different.

The new spy in the 21st century is one of constant engagement, a.k.a he doesn't get nap time. Just as the Bush Administration created the "axis of evil", the new super spy, is one that is constantly on edge, and always willing to engage threats. Consider the following similarities.

1. All of their initials are JB. I know this is obvious, but's it still interesting on a semantic level.
2. All of them have lost someone close to them. Bond it was Vespa, Bourne it was the girl from Run Lola Run, and Bauer it was his wife.
3. All of them have served their country and suffered from it. Bond lost the girl he loved, Bourne has some deep memory problems, and Bauer is just a killing machine who has lost the ability to love.
4. All of them fight evil organizations, no matter if they are internal threats (Bourne, Bauer) to external.
5. All of them don't have time to play around with women. And if they do, the girl will probably be slayed, and I mean that it killing way, not the other way.

All the reviews of the "Quantum" say it is just a epic action movie that features no gadget or no scenes Bond cruising chicks. He can't, how can you, when you compete with the other JB's out there.

The Brighter Day

Here is a list of the things that will happen , now that change has come, and Barack Obama has been elected President.

1. People will believe in America again.
2. Millions of children around the country will believe in hope.
3. People around the world will have faith in America and it's ideals.
5. After being inspired from the grassroots campaign of Obama, Californians, hopeful for the future, will work together to eliminate traffic from LA.
6. Feeling anything it is possible, Tom Brady, will start on Sunday and score 38 touchdowns and win the game 266-7.
8. The Change Machine All Star Band will begin practicing for the Inaugural ball. The line-up will comprise of the following artists. Bruce Springsteen, Jay-Z, Stevie Wonder,Will Smith, Bob Dylan, Coldplay, Common, and Pearl Jam
9. Jack Bauer will realize that he is a product of Bush Administration policies, and in a shocking turn in episode 3 of the new season, will quit the military. His new career path, community organizer in LA.
10. Aliens will come to earth to tell us how cool we are for making the right decision, then leave, but then they'll come back for a minute, and be like "we forgot to give you the cool cure to all your problems. Welcome to Earf!
11. Everyone will believe in Santa Claus, well everyone who wants to or once believed in Christmas magic
12. Thanksgiving this year will be the best meal since the last supper, and I will crush everyone in my family in the weight gain competition.
13. Rappers Nas and Young Jeezy and any other musician who wrote a song about Obama will breathe a sigh of relief
14. Arnold will start making movies again. His first movie will be "The Power of Hope", an inspirational commando drama starring Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Ludgren, and himself.
15. Realizing that it brings people great joy, the government will give the people vouchers for Rock Band and Guitar Hero. The thrill of rock and roll will fill the land.

But seriously, I don't want to take anything away from this moment, I just can't wait to see what comes next.