Running The Well Dry: Star Wars, Jurassic Park, & The Rest of The Reboots

I always thought the phrase "everything old is new again" was a phrase that probably had a bizarre history but people just used anyway without really knowing the history. But when I dug deeper I found out it is from a song from the 1975 broadway musical "Chicago." Actually maybe it was from the 2002 adaptation of the play. Perhaps it was actually from the 1979 movie "All That Jazz" which was a 70's cool retelling of the Chicago story. Or finally maybe it was from the original 1926 play, that the 1975 musical was based off, which inspired the 1979 movie, which impacted all the retellings, which impacted the 2002 adaptation, which then...whoah...hard to keep track. It's a never-ending loop of riffing and retelling the same story. Kind of like the movies these days, right?

I'm not betraying my hard core nerd tendencies I've combed over the most recent Star Wars and Jurassic World trailers like a kid sifting through the trash looking for his lost retainer. Every detail seems to lead to another clue, which starts an email chain I'm mildly embarrassed about (after all I'm 28 years old and cross light saber blades shouldn't have this much of an impact on me right?). But I also believe that part of my mega-nerd-geek-fanboy foundation is slowly getting chipped at with each new reboot/sequel/prequel/midquel (not even sure if that's word).

The business of these mega-franchises existing until the end of time is obvious. Now that the movie studios are run by HUGE corporations, there is a powerful incentive to maintain the flagship "brands,"you know the Jurassic Park, The Star Wars/Treks, The Harry Potters, etc, to keep the lights on for everyone not just the movie studios - but it makes you wonder - how long can this last? When we keep returning to the same nostalgia wells for more water they eventually go dry. How are we meant to survive -  dig new wells, that's how.

Imagine what it would be like if these bright young directors all had blank checks to make something original. J.J. Abrams might give us something better than "Super 8." "Jurassic World" director Colin Trevorrow's previous film "Safety Not Guaranteed" was a blast, imagine what he could cook up with a blank check. Gareth Edwards who showed great promise with "Monsters" is now just retelling our old stories with "Godzilla" and a new "Star Wars" spinoff. I understand that going back to the same wells of characters, worlds, and stories is tempting but don't you just yearn for something truly new? It's like if we just stopped exploring space after we landed on the moon, actually, not sure if I'm comfortable with that metaphor.

A shining example of the "dig new wells" style of storytelling is director Neil Blomkamp who has made two amazingly original movies of varying quality: "District 9" and "Elysium." Each of those two films could have started their own franchise and his new film "Chappie" looks to be equally original (trailer also kind of made my shed nerd tears). This is what we need more of. More Blomkamps, more Shane Carruths, and more Gareth Evans.

I want to make sure that future movies are creating new worlds and not just new stories in our existing imaginary playgrounds. While having our modern stories get re-told and expanded is cool, with each new piece of the "world building tale", we're just boxing ourselves into our own creative prison. Once we're at the point where we've run out of three sided sabers, mega dinosaurs, and towering monsters to impress us, we'll wish that everything is old is just old and that everything new is well... new. It will be awesome.

One Step Closer To Jurassic Park

Today was the day that Jurassic Park came one water vibrating footstep closer to being reality. As a lover of all things wild and fantastic, I am elated to hear the news that a scientist in Montreal has found a way to turn chicken's into dinosaurs. Yes you read that correctly, here's a link to the full article and a snippet of it is featured below:

"Larsson believes by flipping certain genetic levers during a chicken embryo's development, he can reproduce the dinosaur anatomy, he told AFP in an interview."

I'm not entirely sure what flipping genetic levers means, I thought genetics was all about Punnet squares and lower case letters squaring off against upper case letters. While I'm a little perplexed why Doctor Hammond, I mean, um, Dr. Larson is focusing on chickens (why not Komodo dragons?), I can't complain. I guess Dr. Grant was correct when he said dinosaurs became our chicken nuggets.

Cue the Jurassic Park clip!

Appreciate the Simple Pleasures: PB & J

Here's to you Peanut Butter and Jelly, yeah, sometimes I call you PP & J, which is just plain strange when you think about it. Oh you great sandwich, that is not only cheap to create, but a true delight for even the most sophisticated palette.

Speaking of palette's, you are one of the few, the chosen, foods that can not be gourmetizied. And I know that's not a word, but there isn't no five star joint serving up peanut butter and jellys with sourdough bread and organic hand picked peanuts combined with jelly from grapes created by old men named Jacob and Jeremiah in vineyards where the sun sets brilliantly each night.

You're just a simple pleasure. Tasty, cheap, and smooth (or crunchy if you roll like that.) In fact you are so spectacular you are worthy of this clip.

Happy Birthday Steven Spielberg

Today is Steven Spielberg's birthday and to honor him, I figured I would break down some of my favorite scenes in his repertoire.

1. Hungry Raptors Hit The Kitchen- This classic scene from "Jurassic Park" nearly made me urinate in my sweatpants when I saw this in the theater. When that raptor opens the door you know he's not there for Spaghettios, he's there to eat kids.

2. Kari-mah, Kar-MAH, KARI-MAH- Another scene that seriously damaged my mind as a child. From "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," this sequence had some wicked evillllllll (notice the extra letters to exclaim the point) Indian priest ripping out some poor guy's heart. What makes the whole thing bonkers is the guy is alive when it happens and that the Priest dude (a.k.a. the guy with the headdress) is chanting some crazy shit that still lives on in my nightmares.

3. Boooby Traps- As a child I was fascinated by the booby traps in the Indiana Jones movie, but "The Beard" outdoes them all in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" where Indy has to go through not one but three elaborate traps to get to the grail. You know the stakes are high when the young terrified nazi tries to go through and his head comes rolling out like a soccer ball. Of course, it's not problem for Indiana Jones.

4. Hiding in Public View- This often forgot film has a great chase scene when Tom Cruise evades capture by hiding behind the things he knows are going to happen. It has been more done more recently in some effect in the "Bourne" films, but first done here it's effective and exhilarating.

5. Dude Eaten Off Toilet- So fitting that the guy who's a huge ass in "Jurassic Park" get's eating while sitting on the toilet. A great way Steven takes a movie that had me melting in fear (and awe) at the dinosaurs and makes it just a little bit funny. (readers note, from now on I'm going to use this clip on the blog to show when things are awesome, stay tuned)

R.I.P Michael Crichton

Two days ago, the world lost a brilliant creative mind. Mr. Crichton had the gift of looking at the world around us, analyzing where it was going, and then writing extremely entertaining novels about it. His stories had human drama, but also quite a flair for the theatrical (and I'm not talking about Willy Shakes).

"Jurassic Park" was one of the first books I ever read that I considered an adult book. It had swearing, sex, dinosaurs eating other dinosaurs, and more importantly dinosaurs eating people. In fact, I will say that Crichton bridged the gap from children book's to adult books for me.

Out of all his books, I would say that Timeline is the best. The amount of research jammed into that book is astounding. It is full of diagrams, footnotes, and appendices. A great read. I'll miss his writing and his imagination.