Waterworld Re-Strikes Again

May moons ago I wrote a post about why "Waterworld" is almost as good as "Casablanca," and now to my surprise it's clear that Costner's aquatic opus is now taking on legendary status by saving the world. Check out the video below.

Now, just in case you aren't familiar with Waterworld, I present the following legendary video of The Mariner finding a creative way to get fresh water. There is a nice  new electro soundtrack here which is welcome.

Now the bar has really been raised for other 80's stars. Arnold becomes governor Costner saves the oceans. Stallone becomes a painter, Van Damme remains a Universal Soldier. As for Bruce Willis, he's now Tracy Morgan's partner. I've just learned that Costner is also opening up a wolf dance studio , ugh, that one was bad.

2012 Fills A Hole In The Film Universe

"2012" is the film that I've been waiting for years. It fulfills a promise made to me 14 years ago by film auteur Kevin Costner. And it fills a giant blank space in the film universe. IT IS THE LONG AWAITED PREQUEL TO WATERWORLD.

At the end of "2012" the human race is on a whole bunch of boats, or arcs, floating in the ocean. That's it, that's how it ends, however I'm told after the credits Dennis Hopper shows up to show how the renegade smokers are born. Also, a film attendent took a break from keeping the "New Moon" hordes at bay and told me that The Mariner, aka Coster is clearly visible in the background of many scenes.

This is earth shattering news people, Waterworld is a forgotten classic that was way ahead of it's time. Rumor has it that Al Gore hosts midnight screenings of on the harvest moon of the third month of each year. So do yourself a favor, go see 2012, and then go rent Waterworld, I promise you, you'll that convenient or not, you'll find some truth there.

Waterworld Strikes Again

I recently caught about 20 minutes of this flick on cable and it got me thinking. Is "Waterworld" the shit? Or is it just shitty? I'll make the case for both.

Shitty
Waterwold sucks ass compared to classic Costner movies like "Dances with Wolves" and "The Untouchables." The fact that people are surviving on this world of agua makes no sense.

Where are they getting their fuel from? What are they snacking on besides sushi? How exactly does that machine that turns pee to water work? Where are they getting their supplies? Why is everyone dirty if the world's biggest bathtub is constantly around them? Questions like this riddle the movie with holes, but chances are you didn't think about it, because the story was so damn stupid.

The Shit
Evil pirates drive jet skis. Look at that sentence, it probably made some producer in pre-production meetings smile cunningly. Everything in the flick is super dope. The MacGyver like boat that Costner drives, so damn fly. The scene where he takes the chick down to New York on a date to get dirt, so ridiculously smooth. The end, where they survive a "Waterworld" only to find land that looks exactly like "Jurassic Park", so damn meta (all blockbusters are connected man) All of it combines for a campy flick that is not to be forgotten.

The Verdict: Waterworld like Kevin Costner himself, just exists. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just there, popping up n cable to remind you that it was made, and at the time is was dope. However, it also reminds you of how stupid it is. It's like Costner, every now and then he has a movie come out, and people are like, oh damn, he's kind of cool, but then they don't go the movie*.

*Except Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, that movie is ill, not sick