Why Do We Love Zombies So Much?

Call me a deranged psycho but that photo up there looks like a good time. I mean who wouldn't want to take a fire ax to a zombie's head? If you answered "no, not me, that sounds awful," you're a saint and you're in the minority, congrats, because a lot of other people are in the gore splattering group. With the "The Walking Dead" back on TV, zombies are so hot right now and the reasons for this are slightly disturbing.

Hold up, hold up, all you doubters out there who still don't believe zombies are popular. Consider that megastar Brad Pitt is shooting a huge end of the world zombie flick right now, zombie video games continue to sell, World Zombie Day was October 8th, and zombie novels get mad love on NPR. It's easy to see that people are really into the flesh eating hordes.

But being a zombie would suck right? You just walk around all day aimlessly with no soul, only living to eat (I'm still waiting for someone to equate being a zombie with being wicked drunk/high and craving pizza, but that seems like a stretch.) Compared to vampires which basically are super powerful violence/sex machines and werewolves which are ferocious beasts, zombies are pretty bland.

Which makes me believe that people aren't into zombies, they're into the circumstances that accompany them. And that first circumstance of the zombie narrative is the crumbling of society. This appeals to us because it's the ultimate test? How long could you really hang without your Iphone? Are the escape plans you bullshit about with your buddies really that good? Do I really have some ancient hunter-gather power in DNA waiting to be released? In the face of the dead rising from the grave with brain munchies, how do I stack up against everyone else? Forget facebook friend counts and twitter followers, this is the ultimate validation! Would I go down like a rookie or would I be leading the resistance chopping off undead heads?

Ahh, chopping off heads, that's a a part of it. When watching any gory zombie tale, I find myself thinking, alright alright, keep talking, just get to the zombie slaying. See the thing with killing zombies is that you're killing human bodies without consequence. Kill a human you're a murderer, kill a "zombiebified" human you're a hero. It would be be different if the zombies had green blood or something, but they always bleed red. To sum it up, zombie violence is just a twisted excuse for crazy violence on your fellow man (even if he's half dead).

Will this concern make stop watching "The Walking Dead" and playing zombie video games? No, but it will make me approach zombie-mania with a little more trepidation. I'll let these zombie maniacs obsess over their shows and games, meanwhile I'll be stocking up on supplies and training with my axe. After all, I really need to be the hero when "Z" day comes.

Zombies Attack Newsweek.Com

Somebody at Newsweek has a great sense of humor. Today, to celebrate E3, somebody at Newswek has hidden a secret web page in the site. Savvy readers who go to the newsweek.com page and enter the Konami Code will be treated to a special page about the zombie outbreak that is sweeping the east coast.

For those of you who never played Contra (or TMNT 3)

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, enter

Halloween Show Down: Vampires Vs Werewolves Vs Zombies

In the spirit of Halloween let's do a classic little mash-up, and I aint talking about any "Glee" mashup, I'm talking about a bone snapping flesh ripping monster Face Off. So here we go

Zombie- I'm only including the brain eeeaating beasts out of courtesy because let's be honest here folks, zombies even a zombie horde doesn't bring much to the table. Even if you give them that "28 Days Later" super speed, all they have is their intensity. If they can get taken down quick with simple headshot/lawn mower decapitation, I don't see how they can hang with Vampires and Werewolves.

Vampire- Ah, the Twilight terror. Blessed with strength, shape shifting (bats, wolves, it don't matter), and a thirst for sangre rojo, the vampire is quite a nemesis. In the evening, he can regulate Warren G style, but let's just be honest here, in the daytime, totally helpless. Forced to sleep in the box, dreaming of The Harker Sisters, and totally exposed.

Werewolf- Don't let the Taylor Lautnerization of these ferocious beasts fool you, they don't play around. And while they only come out during a full moon, when they are at the height of their powers they are not be taken lightly, which is a polite way of saying they are not to be fucked with.

The Verdict: Lil bit of an upset here, I gotta go with the Werewolf, but not for the reasons you might think. Let me break it down and drop a lil something on you right here. Werewolves are the only creatures that have full mental capacity during the day, so while Vampires are sleeping, Werewolves are scheming. And yeah they only turn when the moon is full, but it's as simple as not inviting vampires inside. Give it up Wolfie, you're the champ.