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MIND MELT ALERT: Nolan & Arnold Team Up

Today is the birthday or Arnold, aka the greatest movie star ever. Today also marks the date of birth of the wise cinematic dreamer known as Christopher Nolan. So one can only think, if these two were to team up to make a film. What would it be about?  Here is my idea and the thoughts, dreams, and hopes of many. Enjoy!


THISLALIFE - Arnold would be an old factory worker who was one day away from finally retiring. On his last day of work, he would learn that the factory he thought was making parts for automobiles, was actually making parts for a machine that would destroy the world. Arnold, who always knows what's just and true, would have no choice but to take down the corporation and save the planet.


IM NEVER GETTING MARRIED - After marrying Maria Shriver, Arnold is sent back in time to save JFK. Together with Ted Kennedy, Arnold must save JFK, thus creating a better world for all, a world where one day he could grow up to be President. It would be "True Lies" meets "24" meets "Terminator" meets "Memento."


CINEMANIC CHRONICLES - I don't care because the chances of me actually going to see it would be  slim.


EVAN BREGMAN - A retired politician goes back in time to save the world from the one key mistake he made during his time in office...but doesn't realize the ramifications of changing the past are worse than he could ever imagine


PURSUIT OF SHOES - "Hahaha, I have no idea"


NICHOLAS J ROBINSON  - Arnold plays Adam, the lead in BEGINNING, a twisted retelling of the story of Adam and Eve. Creatures from hell, temptations before there were such a thing, and a journey to begin mankind


LITTLE RIZZ - "I don't know but it would be some dark shit."


JONNY UMANSKY - In honor of it's 10 year anniversary, Nolan remakes Memento with Arnie starring in the Leonard role.  Other key changes will include, but are not limited to:  Danny DeVito in the role of Teddy.  Jamie Lee Curtis in the of Natalie.  And "Remember Sammy Jenkis" will be replaced with "Remember John Connor.


JOEFRANCISG - A Much more elaborate version of Last Action Hero


JAY JUDAH - An old soldier, long since retired from the field -- a desk jockey -- is selected for a virtual reality program to test and train the human mind for the horrors of battle. When he enters the virtual world, however, things are not as they seem - as per trope, the rules of mind games are easily broken - and he must find a way to dispatch his pursuers and escape with his sanity intact. Effectively, it's Tron meets Inception with a dash of Battle Royale and The Matrix to taste -- your mind is the scene of the all-out death match


KOSHER D - An alien force attacks the US and the people turn to their leaders for help, Arnold leads the charge


LIFTING FOG - Arnold plays a retired, extremely successful venture capitalist. He realizes that unknown entities have been slowly stealing money from his accounts. He goes on an international tour de force to track down the thieves. In the end, it is his younger brother who has been masterminding it as a way to divert funds to cancer research to save his dying wife. Arnold must chose: life of ultimate power/wealth that he has grown accustomed to or renounce his old ways and save wife of long lost brother. Pressure from all sides to stop brother, namely the pharmaceutical companies who must not let the cure to cancer be achieved by a non profiting foundation.




Which one would you want to see? And check back for updates!

Thor Footage

I have no choice to post this. I'm really digging this by the way. I just know it will be taken down soon.

Dear Arnold,

Dear Arnold,

It is now clear that the remakers cannot be stopped. You know this breed of people, lacking in creativity, they seek to remake what once was sacred. And today is the day that the remakers made their first real power move. They want to remake, wait, it sounds like they will remake "Total Recall," with Len "Underwold" Wiseman set to direct.

Arnold, oh Arnold, where art thou Arnold. It is clear now that the world needs you more than ever. I sincerely hope that you return to the screen and regulate on everyone who is remaking the films that made you a guy who's poster hangs in every high school weight room with the slogan "Ain't got time to bleed."

Arnold, just come back the screen, even if it means, playing Dad Arnold to Arnold in a live action remake of the Nickelodeon show. I mean, come on, you can squeeze in some action there, you can help him solve school problems through ass kicking. I'm in. You could even make a sequel to "Junior," but I'd prefer a sequel to "True Lies," which just might happen....

Hasta La Vista (I had to)

-TPG

Imagine Arnold in This (Michael Cera could play Arnold)

When Can You Openly Talk About Inception?

By now everyone knows the "Inception" situation. You're hanging out at work, at the gym, at a Crab Fest BBQ and someone says something about "Inception," and everyone starts freaking out. During this freakout you have two types of people. The first group says something like this "Dude, that movie was nuts! But I have one question...." Now the second group, usually puts their hands over there ears, makes a weird drone noise and runs away while yelling "I haven't seen it, don't talk about it." At which point the first group says "yeah, run away, now let's get into, what's the meaning of....."

"Inception" is a film that is designed to be talked about endlessly. As I said in my review, I have more fun talking about the film with my buddies than I did watching it with them. Let's just say, I got theories, brah, mad theories. But these other folks, these "Inception" holder-outers, what are you waiting for? And how long do you have to wait for them to talk about it?

Historically the answer would be that you'd wait forever. People didn't go around talking about "The Sixth Sense" two weeks after it came out. People still don't ruin the end of that movie, doing that is considered a sin. But with "Inception" there isn't anything to ruin as much as there are things to meditate on. So I'm calling now, after this Friday  (July 30th) it should be acceptable to talk about the film openly amongst people who generally see movies like it*. And if they complain, you just say, "hey don't be mad at me you missed the freight train blasting through the psyche of the american sub-conscious."

*I understand some people have better things to do in their lives than see movies. These people would be  Doctors, parents, newborns, etc. But come on, the movie is wild, and even these guys know about it

via / Barstool

Lego Will Print Your Mind Away

If this printer printed the script to "Inception" then I think my mind would explode or I would need a "Kick"
Thanks to my Pops for the video

Has the 3D Backlash Already Begun?

Last year at Comic Con, James Cameron unveiled 3D technology to the masses. Each person in the screening room strapped on glasses and saw the future, and loved it. Yet this year, the crowd's reaction to 3D was a bit tepid. Yes folks, 3D cinema has already come to it's crossroads.

On one side, big huge 3D films are just getting started. "Tron Legacy" comes out this fall, and if you buy into the hype, it will be just as mind blowing as "Avatar." In the summer of 2012, there will be more 3D films including "Men in Black 3" and "Spiderman" all films that really lend themselves to the medium. I mean who wouldn't want to see Spiderman zipping around the the theatre. Even auteur Martin Scorsese has embraced the medium with his new film "Hugo Cabret."

But everything isn't that eye-popping. At Comic Con this past weekend, comic con jesus Jon Favreau revealed that his new epic Cowboys and Aliens will be shot in 2D and won't be converted, and the crowd went wild for a 2D picture. Conversion, that evil word. If there is one thing that makes cinephiles, fanboys, and fairly normal folk upset it's shitty conversion 3D, ie 3D added after the film is already done. The great website REAL 3D or FAKE 3D categorizes which films have been converted and which are shot in 3D.

So, TPG, what do you think? Do you think 3D will fade away like those old school motion rides? No, 3D is is here to stay. When you look at the dope films shot in 3D coming out in the future, there is no way that audiences won't be pumped about the medium for years to come.  That list:

Mad Max: Fury Road
Men in Black III
Spider-Man 4
The Avengers

Drive Angry
Hugo Cabret
Kung Fu Panda 2
Pirates Of The Caribbean 4
The Smurfs
Tintin
Transformers 3
Underworld 4
Yogi Bear

That's a lot of big time movies, and trust me, once those fanboys see aliens get blasted in pasta sauce by Willy Smith in 3D, they won't worry about htat conversion nonsense. Welcome to 3D Earf!

UPDATE! NOW WITH TRAILER: Comic Con Follow Up - Cowboys & Aliens

"Cowboys & Aliens" is a hypothetical dream team of summer movie-making. First off, your eyes aren't tricking you, that is Daniel Craig, aka James Bond, looking badass with the worlds coolest slap bracelet. This is summer movie making in it's purest form, and when this films hits theaters next July it will be coming from some of the finest pedigree of filmmaking.

First off, comic con deity Jon Favreau is directing the film. Like or not "Iron Man 2" had some thrilling some action sequences, and this is no different. It was written by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the guys who wrote "Star Trek." It is produced by Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, and Steven Spielberg, who combined have six Oscars. And finally it stars the aforementioned Daniel Craig, mega babe Olivia Wilde, "Iron Man 2" scene stealer Sam Rockwell, "There Will Be Blood" preacher Paul Dano, and finally the ultimate badass himself: Harrison Ford.

I have read the script for this project and can say that it's very very cool. I mean there isn't that much to say besides the simple fact that a whole bunch of evil aliens attack an old west town, and Daniel Craig, who has some past history with the aliens has to do some serious Bond-esque intergalactic regulating. In his comic-con presentation, Favreau mentioned how he wanted a western feel to it, and the script reads that way. There are carriage chases, gunslingers with familes somewhere, harderned badasses who still want won more shot, and epic action sequences. I'm really looking forward to the film, I just don't know if John Ford is.

photo via The playlist

Get After It This Weekend

Get after it this weekend, just like this Monkey

Monsters Trailer Hits

"Monsters" Teaser Trailer
Uploaded by ThePlaylist. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

This is the trailer for the film that I mentioned in my recent post about Do It Yourself filmmaking.

New Thor Image & Comic Con Excuses

Damn, Thor is really getting after it with this stump game. 

So, dear readers, I'm not attending comic con this year.  Couldn't get the time off, and while I'd love to be there to see Thor footage, I'm just not that thrilled with the line-up. I'll hold out til next year when we get footage from the following films

Batman 3

Spiderman Reboot

The Avengers

Men In Black 3

Star Trek 2

Zack Synder To Make 300 Prequel

It seems like yesterday, Gerald Butler and his Spartan Soldiers were destroying the Persian army on the battlefield. Now Gerald Butler has dabbled in romantic comedies, the guy above Xerxes was on half a season of Lost, and director Zack Synder made "Watchmen" and a movie about owls in combat. Now on the cusp of Comic Con, Mr. Synder has announced he will be returning the battlefield.

According to the great blog "Hero Complex", Synder has been working on the script for his next film, entitled "Xerxes." If you recall, Xerxes was the villain in "300" (He's also featured above). The film will focus on a young Xerxes, a persian badass who eventually wants to go take care of business and capture the world. Of course that is a terrible generalization, but check out the article for more information.

I'm intrigued by this project, if only because they'll have to cast a somewhat recognizable actor in the role of the persian regulator X-Man himself. Keep in mind the last Persian movie featured Jake Gyllenhaal, so in this film, one can only expect Matt Damon to play the lead.

Captain America Poster Hits

Oh my god this gets me so pumped! (Via/ All over the internet)

Rambo: The Musical

Man, I thought Conan was good, but the female singing here really takes it to a new place.

Roger Ebert in Limbo

Give it up for Roger Ebert. The guy is one of, if not, the greatest film critic on the planet right now. Diagnosed with thyroid cancer, he saw it as a mere bump in the road to becoming more culturally important in the word. He runs a successful website where he actively engages his readers. He has my favorite twitter page and holds nothing back when it comes to his opinions. All this coming from a guy that some people wrote off when he was diagnosed.

One of Ebert's most recent opinions is that videogames can never be art**. This announcement of course set the internet aflame. Marios, Halos, and Rock-Banders all expressed their outrage and shock. Video games can be never be art? Are you mad man? Rather than back down from his belief he actively engaged his readers, encouraging them to come back at him on the issue. You can read the original article and the comments here.

As a video-gamer and a big fan of Roger Ebert, I can say that I'm pretty sure that Mr Two Thumbs is flat out wrong. Most video games are not art, most are just purely entertainment based awesome nonsense. However some games have artistic design so breathtaking that they are most certainly art. For example, take the most recent xbox game LIMBO. 

This game simply blows my mind to pieces. I feel that if it was shown in a gallery in New York City, people would eat brie and drink cabernet and say things like "the dimness of childhood and the machine" while they tweeted about the future of art. I don't want to dive too deep into the WHAT IS ART debate, but this new game Limbo most certainly is.

** More recently Ebert took back his famed statement, declaring that video games one day may be art. Looks like all those controller junkies have some power after all.

Summer Movie Smackdown: Inception

Director: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Dileep Rao, Cillian Murphy

Plot? - Leonardo DiCaprio plays Dom Cobb, a man with some serious psychological baggage who specializes in getting inside a person's mind and taking care of business, aka stealing ideas. Basically he "inhabits the world of the dream" and gets what he wants. "Inception" tells the story of what happens when him and his team go inside someone's mind to plant an idea, instead of take it, and let's just say planting an idea is way harder and headier then taking one.

Reminds You Of?  -  "The Matrix". Both films feature characters who lie down and get plugged into a machine which takes them to another world. In both those worlds the laws of physics are reality are malleable. And finally both contain mind bending action scenes. But after that, this film doesn't really remind of much, because it's very very original. It creates a new world of dreams with new rules, that is a rush to experience. You can literally feel the the creativity of Christopher Nolan pulsating in every frame of the movie.

Ass Kicking Factor (AKF) - "Inception" scores major points because it wraps it's car crashes, snowmobile chases, and explosions in a "thinking persons" wrapping paper. See the conversation below

Bromaniac Bro: When that dude was blowing up snowmobiles and racking up headshots and melee kills, that shit was sweet

Philopshy Professor Kushing: My Thomas, the projections of the protagonists un-contrabble psyche in the harsh white artic climate certainly are spectacular.

Oh Shit Moments (OSM) - The last part of the movie is one giant oh shit moment and that's all I'm saying about that.

Memorable Dialogue  - I can't recall any dialogue. This isn't necessarily a problem it just means that most of the dialogue is explaining exactly what is going on in the complex realities of the dream state

MOM Factor - Nothing makes Mom's happy like having their children see "intelligent movies" and "Inception" manages to be both an intelligent movie and action heavy opus. So we have our first MOM factor film since Toy Story 3.

TPG Truth Drop - Something was missing. Throughout the course of the weekend, I've spoken to friends about the film, and everyone is agreement, it was spectacular but not a knock out punch. Rather than being a 10, it was merely an 8.5. In fact I seem to enjoy the film more now that I'm out the of theatre and can talk about it with people. The movie is a starting point for amazing conversations, and for me, learning about different people's interpretations has been more enjoyable than actually watching the film.

In Andrew O' Hehir's review of the film on Salon.com, he mentions that the film  has "no soul, no sex and almost no joy," and I agree with him ( I don't agree with his overall assessment that the film is a mess). The film was a summer blockbuster that seemed to hate me for wanting to eat popcorn and smile. In fact no one in the film seems to be having a good time. Even the bleak "Dark Knight" manages to squeeze in some laughs and smiles. In one scene Joseph Gordon Levitt sneaks a kiss, and the film loosens up for a moment, but then we're right back in the super intense story that demands our attention. I wish the film had scenes like that. Not all of our dreams are so grim.

Nolan is a genius, "Inception" is a masterpiece of acting, direction, production design, sound, score, editing and storytelling, yet it lacks a soul. Maybe this is because the love story didn't connect with me or I wanted more jokes, but in general , the film lacks a message. If this film truly wants to be the game changer than people hoped it needs to tell us something more about the human mind than this: it rains, people die, and it's a lot like a video game.

Have A Dream Based Weekend

"You mean to tell me one day, you'll be co-starring in the biggest movie of Summer 2010 and I"ll be biting my tongue about Mel Gibson, you must be dreaming kid!"

The Town Trailer

Straight out of Boston! This looks incredible. They even squeeze in a sox game, but I'm not sure why.

The Weight of the Bat

"No Pressure. No Pressure. No Pressure"

Millions of people will flood the multiplex this weekend to get their minds blown by Christopher Nolan's dreamy new film "Inception." As soon as they get out, there will be one thought somewhere on their mind. It's a thought that have been on many people's mind since 2008.

Okay, now onto the Dark Knight Sequel

According to Nolan, his brother Jonathan has been working on the script for over a year, and recently Michael Caine confirmed an April 2011 start date, so the time is upon us. Nolan is not only a genius director, but also a tactician when comes to the masses. After delivering a masterpiece in "The Dark Knight" he wisely stepped away from the genre to make something "else." This was hailed as a genius move at the time, people saw what happened with director Sam Raimi when he made nothing but Spiderman movies for five years. But now he has made "Inception" , Nolan has no choice but to focus again on Batman. And this is no easy task.

First, there is the issue of the story. The last film concluded with Batman becoming the "bad guy" and going on the run. Will the new film have Batman on the run the whole time, or will it be some other story where is he good? Second, there is the issue of the villain. Previous villains have all been grounded in reality, and with no one getting re-cast as the Joker there is a lack of quality bad guys. Riddler? - Too much like the joker. Catwoman? - Maybe? Penguin? - Doesn't really fit into the world. Two Face returns ? Maybe.

And finally there is the biggest villain of them all -  the fanboys. Every single nugget of news regarding this movie is going to be dissected on the internet. I'm sure at Warner Brothers right now, they are holding every meeting regarding this bad boy in room similar to the ones in Mission Impossible. At this point, this is most anticipated film in the history of the world (yes more than AVATAR 2). And you know what, while the task is daunting, I think that Nolan can do it. I just hope I'm not dreaming.

New Trailer for Julian Schnabel's: MIRAL

All this guy does it bring it. This looks incredible!

Fast Five Cast

1. No Cars

2. Lots of Guns

3. No one fast

4. Lots of Muscles

5. More Fast & Furious

The Social Network Trailer Friends You, Pokes You, Status Updates You, and Owns You

Man o man, is this trailer good. I've read the script for this flick and if the film plays anything like the script reads, this is really going to blow people's minds. I love how director David Fincher seems to be using a similar color scheme as "Benjamin Button" and the cast of Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake, and Andrew Garfield, aka Spiderman, also looks promising.

Facebook seems to be dominating our lives these days. A recent poll said one third of women check facebook in the morning, and that's not all, click the link for all the promising/disturbing details. Facebook is on our phones, in our minds, and in front of us every time we turn on a computer. Basically you're life is your facebook and don't try to deny it.

In a recent article on /FILM, it was revealed that the film won't be marketed on facebook itself. This is mainly because of the facebook ad laws, not because of some nefarious agenda, but just wait, as more and more people see this film, they will start to think about Mr Zuckenberg, and how much they can trust him. And they realize they don't have a choice but to trust him, cause if they don't, that picture of them wasted in a banana suit will be all over the world, oh wait, it already is.

Mel Gibson! Are you surprised?

Faced with overwhelming evidence, it is now clear that Mel Gibson is a psycho of the highest degree. But why are people surprised he sounds like a maniac on these tapes? It was clear he was a madman before. Just look at his body of his recent work

1. Edge of Darkness - A maniac cop kills everyone involved in a murder. At one point he pours poison milk down a guys throat and then feeds him cookies, not really, but that would have been cool.

2. Apocalypto - Mel Gibson directs an ultra-violent revenge story where people get killed by jaguars, snakes, and spears. Oh yeah tons of bloody sacrifice

3. The Passion of the Christ - Ultra violent take on Jesus, who is not an ultra-violent guy. This should have been a red flag people.

And that's only recently, this dude is clearly bananas, and I haven't even started making "What Women Want" jokes yet. But please folks, don't act like you didn't see it coming

Predators: The Search for a Governor

Last week we were blessed with the release of “Predators.” This film should act as an example to Hollywood of what a remake should be. But, I’m not here to get into the debate of if remaking should still be a practice or not, my motives here are far more political. Literally. The first “Predator”, aside from giving us one of the coolest monsters in film history, also provided us two future governors: California’s Arnold and Minnesota’s Jesse The Body. Begging the question, “Who from this new batch of badasses will run for office?”

While each person has some positives and negatives for why they should be in office, I’m only going to highlight a handful of our possible candidates.

Topher Grace (Edwin): People have loved him since “That 70’s Show” and he shows in this movie that he’s got more range than just doormat Foreman. This could be useful in winning the hearts of his voters. However, I haven’t forgiven anyone attached to “Spiderman 3” so he won’t be getting my vote.

Walton Goggins (Stans): As Detective Shane Vendrell on FX’s “The Shield” he showed us he knows his way around the law. However, in “Predators” he’s our death row inmate and even though our nation’s leaders haven’t always played by the rules (See Richard M. Nixon) being on deathrow might disqualify him from running.

Laurence Fishburne (Noland): Fishburne seems to be a lock for a future governor. He’s got all the credentials: CSI investigator and showed that he can assist in the saving of a people and getting them hyped up (See The Matrix Trilogy. Well, don’t pay much attention to 2 & 3). However, in “Predators” we’re not getting Morpheus. We’re getting someone a bit shakier, and without spoiling anything, let’s just say not the guy I want to be in charge of balancing my budget.

Alice Braga (Isabelle): The only woman on our list and in our movie and for good reason. She would’ve destroyed any other female who came across their path. She’s faced non-humans before (See “I Am Legend”. It’s awesome) and anyone who is working for the IDF and packing the hardware she is gets an A+ in my book. Even if I don’t think anyone named Isabelle lives in Israel. She shows a mix of kick-assery and heart and those will be key to winning the election.

Adrien Brody (Royce): Our Oscar Winner. Our former baseball player (See “Angels In The Outfield.” It’ll change your life.) Our Leader. In “Predators” he takes the reigns immediately and never looks back. He thinks quickly on his feet, delegates swiftly, and wields every weapon at his disposal beautifully. For the women who may only see him in this role as a jacked killer, I point them towards “The Pianist” and watch as they cast their vote while wiping away their tears.

Governor Braga & Governor Brody: If there is a world past 2012, they'll have a hand in running it!

New Expendables Trailer Saves The Summer?

WOW! Man, this get's my pumped up for this flick. After Inception this weekend, EXPENDABLES is the film to see! (via the playlist)