New Avengers Trailer Kicks All Types of Ass

Cannot wait for this. Seriously, looks insanely epic.

Car Chase Editing Master Class Is What My Dreams Look Like

Found this on my cousin's facebook page. Thanks cousin. This is dope. Love they got Bad Boys II in there.

Is Battleship The Movie That Makes Me "Grow Up"

Once upon a time there was a boy named TPG, aka WP, aka, BRJ, who loved to see things explode on the silver screen. Coke and popcorn, candy (preferably SPKs) and some preemo seating in a large stadium seating theater and I'm good. But now, something has changed in my soul, there's a movie coming out this summer that features in no particular order: aliens, robots, explosions, building destruction, battleships, water, babes, alien mech suits, tropical jungles, Liam Neeson, end of the world scenarios, rastafai accents, slow down speed up camera techniques, oceanic mysteries, a connection to Transformers, spaceships, scary eye blinks ("Jurassic Park" son),  force field barriers, alien whip technology, and finally the almighty collapsing bridge. And I'm not interested. Oh yeah, it's called "Battleship." And it's based off a board game.

Well, I shouldn't say that, maybe with good enough reviews and a relentless marketing blitz, I literally will have no choice to but to see this film, but I'm not there yet. The first thing that is a giant red flag for me, is that this trailer is trying, pleading, screaming, dubstepping, begging, pleading (did I already say) to connect this film to "Transformers," which is the gold standard for mindless summer destruction and special FX wonder. Well let me tell ya something, if you aint got Optimus Prime being a brutal patriotic ass kicking robot battling with other robots (who are also cars/jets/stereos/slightly racist) than don't waste my time.

And then there's the board game thing. While in the past I have defended the remake,reboot, reshoot, prequel, sequel bananan fo mequel attitude in the business, basing a movie based off a board game is tough. In fact, I dread/eagerly anticipate the "you sunk my battleship" line that everyone knows is going to be in there somewhere. I mean I would be way more into this movie if it had a different title, after all I dragged half my family to see "Battle: LA" and that movie was a video game disguised as a film. "Battleship," born out of a ridiculous Hasbro/Universal licensing deal, seems to represent films as the bottom line for a corporation more than any film that came before it, and that makes me uncomfortable and slightly sad. Yeah Yeah Yeah I know "Transformers" is basically the same shit, but I trust Michael Bay and I don't trust "Battleship" director Peter Berg, cause let's be honest, "Hancock" is no "Bad Boys II."

Maybe I'm wrong, perhaps this movie will be the 21st century "Independence Day" it really wants to be, but for now this movie is position to be highly successful at making me transition to slightly more sophisticated blockbuster fare. You know ones. The sequel with the superheroes, the prequel with the humans fighting aliens, the sequel with the AARP action squad, the superhero reboot, the super hero three-quel. And with that line up, it looks like I don't have to grow up just yet.

Why I Haven't Been Posting (It's All In The Game)

I know, I know, I haven't posted in a hot minute. The reason for this is because I'm super deep into "The Wire" and have been prepping almost a full week of posts about this epic masterpiece of a show. Stay tuned.

ABC'S The River With/Without A Paddle

I'm a sucker for the "Paranormal Activity" movies. Saw the third one in the theater at midnight with my buddy, it was straight up bananas, both the movie and the fact that some guy had a full blown mega-seizure two rows down from us, but nevertheless, movies are dope. When I heard that series creator Oren Peli was going to have a TV show on ABC, I was pumped. Last night, that show, titled "The River" premiered on ABC. And while it didn't come close to satisfying my "Lost" longings, I found the show to be extremely enjoyable.

The show is technically "found footage," which is all the rage now in Hollywood. It focuses on a TV crew searching for a lost nature documentarian Dr. Emmet Cole (played in flashback by the groovy Bruce Greenwood) deep in the wilds of the Amazon. Along for the journey into the heart of darkness are Emmet's wife and daughter, a somewhat sleazy producer and camera man, the superstitious ship supervisor and his easily possessed daughter, a childhood sweetheart, and of course an elite special forces dude with an arsenal of badass weaponry. It doesn't take long for the posse to discover that they are in way over their heads in for seriously intense experience in the Amazon.

First things first, I was surprised how scary the show was. And while I know that shit is always getting super nuts on "American Horror Story" I was surprised how terrifying the show was, especially for Network television. How scary we talking here? Try porcelain faced dolls hanging from trees and coming alive, monkeys with children's faces, and possessed girls speaking in tongues while having seizures. Yeah Brah!  Maybe I'm just soft, but I found it to be pretty intense.

Besides the scares though, there is kind of a cool "meta" elements of watching a TV show about the production of a TV show. I also find it ironic that the sleaziest character on the show is the producer, but he's the entry point for the audience. For example, it's preposterous that there would be cameras everywhere to capture both the supernatural shenanigans and the little personal moments between characters, but if he's not there showing us the audience what we wanna see, than their is no real show. Yet every time things are going haywire, he's the guy who you wanna see get torn to pieces by the river demons. Is that a commentary on media ethics or am I just diving wayyyy under the surface?

The show isn't close to being as good as "Lost," yet I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty engaged for the entire two hour premiere, and that's a rarity for network TV. Usually if it's not on Showtime, AMC, USA, or HBO, I'm not watching. It's fun watching this type of pulpy horror stuff, and I'm pretty sure it will be for you as well, even if you're not a "Paranormal Activity" junkie like me.

Lana Del Rey's Hunger Games Video

Whoah, this is wild. Lana Del Rey cover about The Hunger games. Team Gale. 

What is Going On In The First Official Photo From The New Bond Flick?

Today this new picture from the next James Bond movie, titled "Skyfall" hit the interwebs. Dropping on November 9th, the new film boasts a pretty strong cast including Javier Bardem as the villain, Ralph Fiennes as a potential mentor, a young Q making his first appearance in the D. Craig series, a of course a full roster of babe-age. Of course you wouldn't pick up on those things from this picture. So let's check out what is really going on here.

1. Bond is holding a Walter PPK handgun, which is I guess is his trademark, but feels very old fashioned considering the firepower Craig has worked with in previous films.
2. The picture clearly has an Asian setting, which means that this is definitely a sequel to "Tomorrow Never Dies," which is the shit in case you were wondering.
3. I wanna say, the fact that he's got a beard means Bond will be more emo this time around, but the fact is, Daniel Craig's Bond has always been extremely emo, so maybe the beard means he's taking it further into the emo realms of nevermore. Death Cab is doing the theme brahh.
4. That red thing in the background is clearly a reference to HAL from 2001. Can only mean that Bond is fighting the machines, computers, aliens, apes, the past, star child, and the monolith in this film.
5. Or Bond will be traveling the globe fighting bar graphs.
6. Considering Craig's comments on the series, Bond will only be wearing black leather the whole flick. It's gonna get weird.
7. The fact that Bond is looking left indicates that he is looking into the past for inspiration. Hopefully he's looking to "Casino Royale" and not "Quantum of Solace."
8. I get a methodical stealth Bond vibe from this, so maybe the film will be a little more low key than "Quantum of Solace"'s formula of action scene over script.
9. Others have pointed this out, but Bond is looking like a replicant here
10. Looks dope.