I mean this is the movie that started it all right. Watching this trailer now, it kind of looks....the same as "Fast Five," and I'm ok with that. Can't believe that this came out 10 years ago....I mean Diesel ages right? The guy's human? Expect my "review" on Monday.
After a heavy episode last week to get the gears of war turning, this weeks episode of "Game of Thrones" titled "The Kingsroad" was an interesting look at where things are headed and stirring PSA for wolves everywhere. Let's strap on our longswords and head in.
Decapitation Count: .5 (dude got his throat ripped open by a wolf)
Incest Count: 0
1. Not once but twice does a wolf save somebodies skin (and rip off someone else's) in this episode. I like this concept of the dire wolves protecting the Stark household, but I'm worried about it for two reasons. The first, how often is this going to happen in the show. Every time someone gets in trouble, is the wolf gonna spring up and kick ass? Second, will the double threat badass/cute factor of the wolves lead to a boom in sweet wolf related t-shirts and fan fiction?
2. The Lannister Queen aka the real bitch schemer is turning into one of the best villains on TV right now. Much credit is due to actress Lena Hadley for projecting wickedness in the scenes that she's given. Now that the little Ezzio Auditore is awake, it will be interesting to see what her next move is.
3. Ned Stark is an interesting character because he is both supremely powerful and ultimately weak. He is the ruler of the his kingdom and his clan, but he still gets kind of bossed around by his King, even though him and the King are tight enough to pound wine and talk about sexual conquests of wenches. I wonder if this divide is going to lead him to future trouble later in the season/series. At some point he's going to have to choose a side.
4. Khal Dogo (Jason Momoa) is definitely rocking some Richard Alpert level eye-liner on this show, but even though he doesn't speak that much, he's bringing it with the intensity. For all you non-action movie nerds out there, this dude is the new Conan The Barbarian and with each week on this show he's getting me more pumped for that film. That being said, when is this dude going to engaging in any combat besides the one in the bedroom?
5. After a semi-good pilot, this episode has really pulled me into the show. I can't wait for the showdown at the wall with the White Walkers aka "Da Blue Eyed Demons!" Also, now that the climber boy is awake, the situation at home is heating up as well. In fact the whole thing kind of reminds me of a Redwall book. You have the situation at home, the quest, and the approaching army. No word if Martin the Warrior is going to turn up on the show though.
One more Direwolf save and we'll be seeing more on these on our characters.
In case you didn't know "Fast Five" comes out on Friday and if you're not planning on seeing it this weekend, I hope you have a good excuse. I have been in the driver's seat, flooring the pedals, using the nas speed burst on this movie since the last film in 2009. It looks to match ridiculousness of the last one but then again I'm not even mentioned THE ROCK is going to fight Vin Diesel at one point in this film. Put down your papyrus copy of the script "The King's Speech" and buckle up! Fast Five!
Alright, now that the relentless hyper has died down, I wanted to share this little bit of "Fast" related news. According to a recent article on Deadline, Universal pictures is trying to transition the films from being about street races to being about heists. They want the franchise to more like "The Italian Job," and while this may freak some people out, I'm here to tell you not to worry. The translation of the statement about the "heists" is this:
"heists movie" = more epic action that is now all inclusive to every story imaginable
By freeing the film from solely being about racing now the audience can get Diesel and the gang doing anything and as long as it involves techno music, hot babes, interesting locations, and destruction people will come. Here are some suggestions now that they we are in the fast heist world:
Fart, aka Fast Art - "Exit Through The Gift Shop" meets the "Fast" gang as the Dom and the crew get sucked into the crazy world of underground street art, the target they have to steal is not a car, but every piece of street art (they're stealing buildings y'all).
Fast Face (Book) - When a social network billionare won't give up his fortune, the gang enters his virtual social world to steal his ideas in virtually. It's like "Social Network" meets "Inception" with lots and lots of video game level insanity and car races (of the mario kart variety).
Fast Time - Time travel is cool now and the gang must go back in time to the set of the original Fast & Furious film set and tactfully insert key pieces of intel into the film to preserve the future of the franchise. They'd also be stealing all pieces of intel that would make Diesel make "Chronicles of Riddick"
I'm open to more suggestions. Also don't miss the interview with the screenwriter Chris Morgan
What's good Lifers? Kosher D here, and as some of you may know and some may not, yesterday marked TPG's anniversary of dropping truth bombs and geek cred confessions here on Earth. So, to celebrate I suggest everyone get as many friends together and participate in one of the marathons below. Bonus points for the most creative drinking game invented.
The Arnoldathon #1. Commando #2. Predator #3. Total Recall #4. T-2 The Cage Match #1. Face/Off #2. Con-Air #3. The Rock #4. Your illegally downloaded copy of Drive Angry The Jack Attack 24 Season 1 24 Season 3 24 Season 5 24 Season 7
Yes that is a car driving over a cliff. If you're not into cars driving off cliffs, then you're kidding yourself, I don't care how old you are, that shit is cool. Yes that is a picture from the excellent trailer for "Fast Five," the first official movie of the 2011 summer movie season. This week we are in now is it, your last chance to prepare for the onslaught of summer movies that are going to start coming at you....uh...I got to, the movies are going to be coming fast and furious for the next three months.
Here's a brief lineup of what's coming up and my thoughts on each
May 13: Bridesmaids (Getting great reviews) The trailers have been decent and I keep hearing lots of positive buzz, looks like a solid date movie with a killer cast.
May 20: Pirates of the CaribbeanDammmmmnn Johnny Depp, what you doing with your life? A fourthquel, get a new franchise man. I'm tempted by senorita Cruz but just don't know if I can pull the trigger on buying tickets to this.
Memorial Day: Hangover Part II, Kung Fu Panda 2, Tree of LifeTwo are sequels to highly enjoyable films and one is a meta-heady story with dinosaurs, a serious serious weekend.
June 3: X-Men First ClassWhen this movie was announced people were skeptical of a X-Men story in the 60's (they also couldn't forgive/forget Wolverine) but now after the trailers, people are Colossus pumped for this, I'm one of them.
June 10: Super 8 While I'm not as jazzed as others, I can't deny that this looks interesting and Abram's last film, a little picture called "Stark Trek" was one of the most enjoyable pieces of entertainment of the last couple of years.
June 17: Green LanternThislalife contributor KosherD has got me pumped on this, and since he's my bro in real life/comic life I trust his judgement on this.
June 24: Cars 2People knocking PIXAR need to get their game up, "Cars" is an under appreciated gem, sure it sells a ton of merchandise, but don't use that as a reason to knock the film. Besides I really like Lightning McQueen & Mater, dare I say they are the new Woody & Buzz now that Woody & Buzz are retired?
So fasten your seatbelts and get ready for Summer 2011. Or should I say unbuckle your seatbelts and get ready to drive off the cliff in sumer movie season. Oh I think I forget something
Welcome to "Game Time" my weekly follow up on HBO's new series "Game of Thrones." Each Monday you can tune and check out my thoughts and analysis of the episode, some of it will be profound and insightful, some of it will just be random observations regarding a show that features blue eyed demons and lots of fur pelts. So let's get out our weapons and start chopping off heads with the first episode "Winter is Coming"
Decapitation Count: 2 (Perhaps 3 implied)
Incest Count: 1.5
1. Based of that statistics above it's clear that this will be a show that doesn't hold anything back. It's almost like HBO got a look at "Spartacus" and said, oh, you think you can do this ancient world hardcore violence/sex thing huh, well, we invented this shit, so behold the power!
2. It feels like this is following the "Boardwalk Empire" model rather than the "True Blood" model. What I mean by that is while 'True Blood" gets right into it with the insanity and doesn't let up, "Thrones" like "Boardwalk" looks like it's going to be a slow burn for the first couple of episodes while it establishes the characters and plot lines, and then will ignite around the midpoint. While this can lead to an underwhelming first couple of episodes, I'm confident that the show will pick up steam.
3. That little boy who was a very adept climber/faller had some straight up Assassin's Creed moves. My only question is why were there so many convenient climbing holds? Aren't these tower's supposed to be difficult to scale?
4. Is it just me or does this dude who plays the knight with the second coolest helmet (first coolest clearly the dragon helmet dude) clearly look exactly like the "evil" Prince Charming from "Shrek" (see video for explanation)
5. While I enjoyed seeing the different far off lands, I hope that the plot lines become more streamlined as the series marches on. My magical geography is not on point.
6. I'm glad they had Prince Charming and his lover/sister throw a kid off a castle because I was pretty confused at first who were the good guys and who were the bad guys (besides the blue eyed demons, more on them in a little bit). I feel like with this show they really needed some drastic action like killing a child because everyone exists in the grey area (Much like the general color tone of the whole show).
7. Magic! Dragons! Yes! It's very interesting how the concept of magic is kept on the outskirts but is still present on the show. The dragon eggs the "queen" receives as a gift were a great foreshadowing to future fire breathers in later seasons (no word if they are "Reign of Fire" related). Also the prophecy with the dire wolf seemed magical influenced on well. No word if the excessive incest is magical as well, I don't think so though.
8. Finally, can we please talk about those blue eyed ice demons in the start of the show. Talk about the World of Warcraft Rise of the Lich King status! Got dayum, those beasts were nuts. Hopefully the show will not take too long to get these creatures because they WILD!
I first saw "Scream" when I was about 12 years old. It was the year that my mind had been blown to pieces by "Independence Day" and I was salivating at a chance to watch "The Rock" when it came out on VHS. My days after school were spent playing "Duke Nukem 3D" and "Red Alert," so when my buddy procured a copy of "Scream" on VHS I was pumped / terrified. Him and I were serious film buffs so it was a big deal, but there was one problem, I was petrified of horror films.
What complicated the matter is that this kid, his name is John, was a really good dude. His rep in school was literally "the nicest kid in the whole school," he was a saint. But for some reason he was adamant about watching "Scream!" When I told him I didn't want to watch it cause I didn't like scary movies, he called me a wuss. A real big sissy! What? The nice guy? You heard it here first, John was calling me out. I had no choice, I was either gonna build some tesla coils or face my fears and watch ghost face dice up teenagers. I had no choice...first scene....chest stabbing terrifying death!
While it wasn't as scary as "E.T," Wes Craven's horror film sendup really messed me up. Not only because I went home that night to an empty house (my parents were at the theater seeing a play or something) but no one believed that the nicest guy in the school "bullied" me into watching it. Ever since I've been freaked out by the films. Maybe it's the mask or how intense the stabbing are, but the franchise gets me.
So naturally I'm seeing it tonight at the the busiest movie theater in LA. Wow what a good/bad decision.
(Thanks to thislalife reader deweysnotdead for the tip)
I have some good friendshere in thislalife that are insistent that the defing classic TPG question is "What's your favorite dinosaur?" I say that it's not a classic TPG question, but rather just a classic question along the the lines of "What's your favorite color" or "Why would you like Donatello, are you some type of nerd?" You see the thing with dinosaurs is that they are so mind meltingly cool, it's impossible that I'm the only one that find them fascinating. And yeah, if I ask you what your favorite dinosaur is and you come at me with some weak sauce like "oh I don't know" than well, I don't really know what to make of you. Let me guess, you also don't like tigers, sharks, or bears...right? So here is a key to figuring out what your favorite dinosaur means about you:
T-Rex - You either are or aspire to be the king of the beasts. You want people to adore/worship you but you also want them to be afraid of you (see above video for explanation)
Raptor - Reserved for shady clever people that potentially will stab you in the back. Raptor's are cool in concept, but if they are your favorite, I don't wanna roll with you. I don't like Benedict Arnold dinosaurs or people.
Triceratops - Solid all around dinosaur with some gnarly horns, if you go with this one, I'm thinking, alright, you're dependable and don't need to be the star of the show. You can still do some damage if you need to and I respect that.
Stegosaurus - Another solid all around dinosaur who just has some really sketchy or super hip fashion taste. Dare I say that this thing is the hipster of dinosaurs, the plates are just the Jurassic version of scarves/bacon/glasses
Brontosaurus / Brachiosaurus - For all their hype theres are the only dinosaurs that feel legitimately old to me. If you're a big fan of these guys I'm going to guess you're a real history buff and probably enjoy black tea and perhaps a good night listening to the phonograph machine.
Dilosphosaurus - Showboating big necked grimey spitting dinosaurs. Don't waste my time.
Compys - A star of the the Jurassic Park Novel and second film, these little shits roll in packs and are damn mean. If you tell me this is your favorite, I'm going to assume that you're crafty but probably have a posse waiting off in the wings, ready to roll on me.
Today mega-film producer Brian Grazer tweeted that he is on board to produce the 24 Movie. Dayum, I've been amped off Bauer my whole life and the prospect of the film is always news on thislalife, but having Grazer come on board to produce is a good sign. Keep in mind, Grazer also produced the TV show, so the world of torture, ticking clocks, and terrorists is not foreign to him. I'm confident the movie will be incredible and can't wait for further developments.
Let me back up for a moment for those of you who have not read Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughter House 5. The central character of its story is a WWII vet by the name of Billy Pilgrim. During the war Billy becomes "unstuck" in time. He starts flashing between the various points of his life, much like everyone's favorite button pushing brotha' Desmond. Billy flashes between the war, his bearable married life, his daughters wedding, and his abduction by the Tralfamadorians.
Tralfamadorians
The Tralfamadorians are aliens who not only see the three dimensions our eyes see but also a fourth, the dimension of time. They don't see individual moments. They see time as we might see a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, always there and unchanging.
Billy eventually takes this information, combines it with his own time traveling experience, and he begins speaking to people trying to convince them that if time is eternal then everyone lives forever, in some form or another, reliving the moments of their time.
Now, there's some doubt's as to the truth of many of Billy's claims but his facts of time and the "eternal" life are scientifically sound principles thanks to Einstein's Theory of Relativity. In a very simple sense what the Theory of Relativity says is that Observers (Me and You) moving relative to each other, have different conceptions of what exists at a given moment, and therefor they have different conceptions of reality. That's mind blowing! My reality is different than yours, and Steve's is different than either of ours because where we're physically standing and the speeds we're travelling are different. At normal, everyday speeds here on Earth this is incredibly minuscule difference which is why we never notice a disconnect. But on an intergalactic scale...
Pictured: Master of the Universe
I want you to imagine NOW. This moment of NOW. Not just what exists in the immediate area of you in this slice of time, but the entire universe. Every planet, every micron, everything in the universe that is.
At the same time, Chewbacca is on his home planet of Kashyyyk far, far away. Roughly 10 billion light years away. And he, like you is sitting still, not moving in any direction picturing NOW. His NOW encompasses everything that yours does at that moment. Because neither of you are in motion relative to each other your slices of NOW are exactly the same. Once Chewie stands and starts walking away from you at 10 miles an hour (He's a Wookie, he can walk as fast as he feels like damn it!) it means that his position in Spacetime will shift, and because of the vast distances between him and you his slice of NOW will shift as well. Because of his direction, speed and distance, the time on Earth that is a part of his NOW are events from 150 years ago to us. He would considers the Civil War as a contemporary event.
Chewbacca being an amoral scoundrel.
Chewie now spins (he forgot his keys) and starts walking back towards you at the same speed. The future events of 2161, when the crab people will rise up again, events that seem to be unknowable to us, will be a part of his NOW slice. As solid fact as the computer in front of you.
Ceremonial "I blew your mind" face.
Why doesn't he intervene you say? Why, if he is now experiencing the assassination of Lincoln, doesn't he stop it? Well, 1st of all he's a Wookie and doesn't care about any one who's not an amoral scoundrel. And 2nd, because that would be a paradox, and the universe hates paradoxes with a passion and it built a fail safe: the speed of light. Because the speed of light is is a set constant it will take the light carrying Lincoln's assaisnation billions of years to reach Kashyyyk and only Chewie's descendants will see it, much to late to act.
So if you accept that reality consists of the things in your frozen slice NOW, and if you agree the your NOW is no more validate than someone else's NOW who can move freely, than reality encompasses all of the events in space time. At all times. For as Einstein said, "For we conceived physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion, however persistant." And you my friend will live forever in the light of the universe.
What's good everyone? Kosher D here as we continue the This LA Life takeover. I want to just drop some truth bombs about the upcoming WB film GREEN LANTERN. With the release of the new footage, which can be seen above, I'm loading up a fresh batch of coal into the TPG Hype Train.
The footage is so good, I shouldn't even have to write this. After the first trailer, I found myself having to defend it a bit. "Don't worry, it's going to be better." Well, guess what? I WAS RIGHT! But, I shall defend it for those 2% of you who still don't believe me. This movie is going to bring it! I'll be the first to admit that I didn't like Ryan Reynolds being cast (a geek can hold on to the dream of him being The Flash), but after seeing him at Comic Con and this latest footage, I totally buy it. I don't mind that the suit is all CG. It is alien, it is supposed to just appear. Also, it looks like Reynolds' sarcasm is toned down a little and will absolutely work for Hal Jordan.
Sinestro looks incredible. Kilowog jumped off the page. Tomar-Re just helped an Englishman speak. The realistic look of everyone and everything is a true testament to having Geoff Johns on through every step of this process. When you have people that are that deeply invested in the characters and products, you know you're going to get top notch quality. When you don't, well, see FOX and X3, Wolverine, and Fantastic Four. (Dear Fox, Stop Hating Fans.)
The biggest issue with Green Lantern remains, will a major audience go and see a comic book movie that is so engrained with aliens? THE DARK KNIGHT, SPIDER-MAN, X-MEN, and X2, all have Earth-based characters who come by their powers by either a scientific experiment, a genetic mutation, or Dad's fortune. But I'm telling you, America, World, just trust me. Suspend your disbelief, say the oath, and come to OA with me. Remember, the ring chose you, not the other way around.
I listen to a radio show on WNYC (NYC's public radio station) called Radiolabvia podcast. If you haven't heard of it, and you like stories and discussions about science and philosophy, you ought to listen to it. This post isn't about Radiolab, though. It's about a small company that produced a few video pieces for the show, and I think they're doing some very cool, innovative stuff. It's called Everynone. I'll let the sample videos below speak for themselves. Enjoy!
Hey everyone. As you can imagine from the title, I had a little dental work this morning. I go in there expecting the usual: "Hey Kyle, do you floss?", and I respond with "Oh.. uh.. yea.. sometimes" as my gums bleed. A couple scratches with the tiny metal hook here, a scrubbing with the electric thing there, a free toothbrush, and I'm on my way, right?
Well, I'm writing to you with a completely numb mouth, which means my dentist put in a little overtime today. And by overtime I mean that he filled not just one... not two... not THREE... but FOUR cavities in my mouth!
This has to be some kind of record, right? My dental reputation is tainted now. I was squeaky clean up to this point, minus a spot from my younger years, which of course doesn't really count. What's just as bad as getting the procedure done is knowing that my status as an exemplary dental patient is now gone. Getting to pick my own toothbrush color? No more. "Oh, hey, Kyle, just because you were a great patient, again, I'll throw in a couple more travel size toothpastes." No sir.
My whole approach is thrown off. I can't just brush vigorously like three times right before my appointment? That was working for years!
Anyway, some more (and hopefully more insightful?) posts to come.
And hey, it's been a while since we've all seen this video, so why not...
...not only can they not piss in public, but I'm sure all the regular THISLALIFE readers are already mad that this video is 7 minutes and 13 seconds long and none of you intend to watch it.
I implore those with short attention spans to watch this video in its entirety. Not only will you be better informed on the universally useful task of peeing in public, but the hilarity that ensues in the last 30 seconds is a thing of beauty...especially if you've had some "issues" that resulted in wet sheets and a mad significant other.
"You're in control of your own destiny. It's about being an adult, being a grown ass man, and using your brain."
Hey team. Marie Buck here, guest blogging for the one and only Mr. Goessling.
Last night I had the real treat of seeing the documentary Bill Cunningham New York. Quite simply, it moved me. It was charming and inspiring and honest and captured what I respect more than anything: doing what you love.
Bill Cunningham is the street style photographer for the New York Times, and has been for almost 50 years. Simply put, he's delightful. What struck me about Bill is that he is the simplest of men--by that I mean his desire for food, living conditions, material items are as close to basic and functional as a human can get, but what he does is anything but simple. His eye for creativity, trends, and human expression is exquisite.
Bill rides around NYC on his bike, snapping up pictures of the New York street style--he doesn't care who you are, he cares about fabulous clothes and ensembles! And that doesn't necessary mean couture. He's adorable. He's an icon. He makes me want to take photos.
It's in limited release, and currently playing at the Landmark in LA. Go!
Now the reason I'm reposting this is because TPG deleted my original post. Says the man himself:
"Some of my readers have complained about overly raw videos.
Apologies, sincerely, if I've offended.
That being said:
Calm down.
A. Tim -- it's your blog. You can write whatever the hell you want. Literally. Watch:
Weiners. Weiners, weiners, weiners.
See?
If people are gonna bitch, respectfully, they can go elsewhere for their daily bro-isms and trailer repostings. It's a big The Internet. (We're going to need a bigger The Internet.)
B. Readers -- the internet is a big scary place. It's like that time you accidentally got lost in the back hallways of a Best Buy. It's so big back there! And who ARE all those people?
But seriously, folks. Crazyshit videos are the new currency. We've all seen them, we've all shared them - the entire face of content creation and advertising have been forever altered by their existence. Speaking entirely for myself, I'm of the mind that you haven't really lived unless you've tripped the void, unless you've seen some real crazy shit out there. The kind of stuff you probably shouldn't link to in blog posts that your relatives read. Point is: how can you know your limits if you don't test them?
I don't mean to offend you with the posting of this WILD video that - I'd wager - a good number of you have already seen on at least three other significantly higher-trafficked blogs so far today. We're hyper-connected over-sharers of every single experience and nothing phases us, there are no more phases, we aren't even phased by the lack of phases! We're going to need a bigger phases.
The point is? Lighten up. It's a big dirty world out there, trust me on that. Sorry if you don't like it when crazy unpredictable shit flies directly at the camera-phone while you're driving. I didn't know you had a phobia of that. That's quite a specific kind of phobia, too. Welp. Better upload it to youtube.
Perhaps I gave you too much credit, The Internet.
Welp. Look what you made me do. I explained the joke. Now it's not funny anymore.
If there's one thing I love, it's things that are inauthentically vintage (see: my entire blog, the apps Hipstamatic/Instagram, most of my hats.) Via Slashfilm, here's some decently fly faux magazine covers featuring Magneto, Charles Xavier and Emma Frost that ran in magazine Total Film. Set your phasers to sepia.
Man, I WISH. Just foolin'. It's Jay Judah. I'm probably still your boy, but I wouldn't go so far as to guarantee it, and rarely is anything all that good.
Good morning and welcome to the 2nd annual ThisLALife Guest Blogger Week. Last year, Tim was on a cruise or something and so he called on his fellow bloggers to pick up the slack - you know, water the plants, feed the cats, write some blog entries, that sort of thing. This year, TPG... um... is honoring tradition? Is caught up with work? I don't even know anymore. Personally I just think he's just being lazy, but he has a wider audience than I do so let's just go ahead and call this an honor.
I run Things That Happen, which is basically one step above silly cat videos and a few rungs below, say, your sister's boyfriend's myspace page. Every so often I'll do some legitimate writing, but god damn it I work for a living - how TPG manages to hold down full time employment and still blog as often as he does is a mystery to me and would likely serve as grounds for termination for his employers. I'm kidding (?). I wish him all the best. Don't get fired, Tim. I hate to see a grown man cry.
I'll try to stay on topic today - you know, pop culture navel-gazing, movie trailers, anything related to Arnold Schwarzenegger (YOU GUYS SEE THAT ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY COVER, AMIRITE) and I promise you can expect plenty of explosions. And maybe some cat videos because it's my guest day and imma play it the way i feel it.
Anyway. Here we go! Woo! It's gonna be awesome. I promise. Later on, we'll all look back on this and talk about how awesome it was.
More to come.
~J
P.S. Was tremendously shocked to find that, in Tim's collection of post tags, 'explosions' has never been used. THAT CHANGES NOW.
IGN has a rich history of making fake trailers for April Fool's Day. Last year they dropped the pretty decent trailer for a live action zelda movie. What's interesting about this trailer is that there actually is a show exactly like this potentially coming. From Battlestar Galatica creator Ron Moore the show is called "17th Precinct" and is about cops in a magical Harry Potter esque world. Not sure what that means for the current state of TV culture is a real show is dreamed up as a fake show for April Fools day.
