TPG Meets Arnold

If "The Rocketeer" was my family friendly introduction to the genre, "Commando" was the exploding birthday cake I received to welcome me to the action movie big leagues. I caught the film at my aunts house when it was broadcast on cable, and I literally remember it like it was yesterday. Why is it so vivid? It was the day I was introduced to Arnold.

Is there anybody more badass than Arnold? While I admire the real life Arnold, the fictional Arnold on the screen in "Commando" and other films is one of, or they greatest action star ever. In "Commando" all he does is waste bad guys and drop one liners. Ahhh the one liner, such an important piece of action cinema. Arnold has more one liners than anyone else in Cinema, and "Commando" has a bulk of them.

The plot is simple. Arnold plays John Matrix, ex-commando, everlasting tough guy, and loving father to Alyssa Milano. Bad guys take Alyssa, Arnold goes after bad guys. The entire movie is just the following formula over and awesomely over again.

Arnold Meets Bad Guy + Arnold Wastes Bad Guy = One Liner

Sure that formula isn't going to win any Oscars but when it comes to satisfying the viewers, it's pretty hard to beat.

Understanding the Commando Remake

Not only does he destroy people/buildings, he destroys stereotypes of single parenting

Yesterday, it was announced that FOX is developing a remake of the legendary action classic "Commando." Readers know that I'm a huge Arnold fan so this news hits close to the heart, "Commando" is a special one for me. I remember watching it on TV at my Aunts house and thinking "now, this right heya, this is a movie." At what point in the movie did I realize this? Probably this part right here:

 Let them try to remake gold, the alchemists at fox will learn the hard way that it cannot be done. They will try, they'll bring in David Ayer, screenwriter of the unforgettable Training Day, and also  the director of the extremely forgettable Street Kings. Yet at the end of the day, like the poor souls who tried to take down Arnold in that fated shed above, they will find that remaking Arnold is impossible. Why? Tune in tomorrow for a special article about why this is literally is impossible.