New Moon Fever Sweeps The Nation: Are You Safe?

While millions of fans are enjoying "New Moon" this weekend, there is a dark and tragic underside to this mania. You see with almost every girl in the universe devouring this books, there is another group of society that is victimized: teenage boys. You see, thanks to Twilight, now every young boy must either be a broody vampire with crazy hair who may or may not be really into classical music (don't even get me started on diamond skin) or a ripped werewolf. What ever happened to being really smart or good at sports?

It's times like this that a young man must just hope he'll get chomped on by a wolf or attacked by a vampiro. If I'm going out, let's hope the Vampire Queen of Louisiana gets me.

Water on the Moon

Please tell me that the news that there is water on the moon is not some huge viral marketing scheme for "Twilight: New Moon."

Moon Or Mars? If the movies tell us anything you gotta play it safe and go the moon!

THIS IS WHAT AWAITS US ON MARS!!

In the new today, there is a great debate whether NASA should go back to the Moon or boldly go to Mars (aka Da Red Planet!). I'd have to say, if you look at recent cinematic history, it is clear that the Moon, not Mars is the clear choice for safe space exploration. Let's check out the facts here.

The Moon- Star of the recent indie darling "Moon," the white orb in the sky has a lot going for it right now. The moon is also kicking ass recently because people are getting nostalgic about the anniversary of the moon landings. Let's not forget that "New Moon" the upcoming Twilight flick has been generating heat for the moon by title alone. Let's face it, the moon is tearing shit up right now. We gotta go back.

Mars- This planet has soil the color of blood, this should be an indicator that we shouldn't mess around it. Cinematic history has told us that Mars is full of evil beings. Peep the vampire army from "Ghosts of Mars" above. Also, I don't recall any peaceful aliens coming from Mars, just big brained maniacs who hate Tom Jones. The only good thing Mars has going for it is that it's the name of a candy company, and candy in any format, interplanetary or not, is sweet in my book.

So NASA if you're with me, let's go back to the Moon. I'm not interested in demonic ghost armies from the Red Planet, I'm interested in the Moon.*

*In reality though, landing on Mars would be the fantastic thing that happened in my life and we gotta go!!!!

Arnold in the Predator Sequel

While Arnold's first responsibility is slaying the demonic beast known as the California budget crisis, he has not forgotten about another beast, this one an intergalactic bounty hunter. In rumors flying around the web this week, some people are saying that Arnold will return in Robert Rodriguez's new Predator film. This was original scoop at Moviehole.com

"“Robert’s camp has just reached out to Arnie’s [camp]”, we were informed. “But they haven’t had a response yet”.

While the rumor was recently completely debunked, it still was face melting and mind fryinginly cool. Now I'm still all nostalgic about "Predator" and how it is THE MOST MACHO FILM EVER MADE. Seriously, lines from the film include the classics "If it bleeds we can kill it" and "I aint got time to bleed."

So they got a blood thing going on, maybe Arnold will appear in the new Twilight flick. Either way, just a rumor, a mere side-step in the cinematic world regarding Arnold and the action movie pantheon got me all jacked up. I mean there's a reason why the crowd went wild when he showed in Terminator.......He's Arnold, the one and only.

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