TPG's Game Times - Season 3 - Episode 5 - Kissed By Fire (Game Of Thrones Recap)

Last year I declared "Game Of Thrones" to be an awesome pulp epic, but lacking in serious substance. While here today I declare that the show chopped that old moniker down with a flaming sword and has re-born anew with the power of the one of best dramas on television. We're approaching "Breaking Bad" levels here folks, and we all should be thankful. Tonight was a stupendous episode that worked on every single level. It was immensely entertaining, full of narrative momentum, and above all a fascinating discorse on duty and honor. So let's go ahead and answer the call, and get into this incredible episode titled "Kissed By Fire."

Direwolf Badassery & Joffrey Swag - None tonight.

1.  There is a reason why Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, the actor who plays Jaime Lannister, is popping up in big time Hollywood movies. That reason was on display during his epic monologue on duty, honor, and family where he sliced apart his own legend like one of his unfortunate opponents on the battlefield. It seems that the Jaime who cares about doing the right thing has finally triumphed over the bad part of him (you know the kind that throws kids out of windows and kills his own relatives to survive.) Him telling his side of destroying the mad King is an interested angle and presents the central question of the episode - How does a person preserve their own honor in the face of war? Last season Jaime Lannister was barely around, he spent the season in muddy prison cells. Tonight in a literal cleansing bath, he is re-born as something new.

2. But don't think I've gone all serious on you, uh, flaming sword battles combined with a juicy kill*, yes, more of that please.

3. So Jon Snow breaks his vows literally by having sex in the Wilding version in the Playboy Grotto, but he also provides intelligence to the Wildings about where the Night's Watch is stationed. Here again, we wonder, where is Jon Snow's sense of duty and honor? Are we supposed to be believe it's ok that he has betrayed his brothers because last week we saw how low they sunk? No, I believe that Jon Snow truly believes that his sense of duty is not to Wildlings or The Night's Watch, but only to himself. And for him, that means shedding the mantle of being "Ned's Stark Bastard" and becoming his own man.

4. Thrones is slowing proving to have a bit of obsession with kills by throat. In season one Khal Drogo ripped out a dude's tongue through the throat, last week Crastus got a blade through the throat, and now we have the Badass Ginger (BG) threatening to tear out Jon Snow's guts through his throat. Enough with the throat deaths!

5. Hope there is some sun-rays coming to Robb Stark because...whoah...that was pretty dark. Faced with either preserving his army or punishing the murderous insubordinates in his ranks he came to a real moral crossroads. Again like the many others he had to make a choice between his own moral code and the realm or all the people. And while I support his decision, I couldn't help but notice that he did it despite EVERYONE telling him of the consequences and advising him not to do it, which was something his father did as well...

6. MAGIC MAGIC MAGIC - That dude Beric Dondarrion got his sword and shoulder sliced almost clean in half (flames can't protect you from dudes named after animals) but still managed to come back to life! This is magic we haven't seen before, but it does come from the Lord of Light, who is proving to be quite popular (The night is dark of full of Thrones nerds broooo.) I loved seeing more about how this magic works, but want I really want to know is what is going on with Stannis's daughter. Does she have a skin infection or is there something magical about her? Considering how zonked out her parents are on that magic, her having a special gift wouldn't be that surprising.

7. Oh what a Knight, late on Game of Thrones with my girl Khaleeessi - ok I'll ditch the Franki Valli reference and just say that the showdown of Sir Barristan and Sir Jorah aka Khalesi's comedic grandpas is proving to be something to watch. Both have different reasons for joining with Jorah seeking some type of forgiveness and Barristan seeking to return glory. There's that theme again, how does a person reclaim their honor? For these old dudes, the clock is ticking.

8. Arya Stark asks "Could you bring back a man without a head" and it becomes clear that her more than anyone wants to avenge the death of Ned Stark, she wants to do it more than anyone. And you heard her saying the names by the fire...she has a long list of people to kill.

9. Man after Khaleesi's show stopping episode last week, I was worried how we were going to get the goods again this week, but this is Thrones so of course they deliver. The Unsullied had to choose a leader and they opt for some skater looking dude who look like he dated Madonna, and he drops a badass line about keeping his name "Grey Worm" which both defies Khaleesi and praises her glory at the same time. Epic, man, epic.

10. So Sansa is going to marry Tryion and Cersei is going to marry Loras. Man Tywin Lannister must be reading a lot of soaps on scrolls because this set-up is zany (but smart). Also the Lannisters are proving that they are indeed the least fun family in the world.

Amazing episode, hopefully the final 5 will be just as good. Have a great week!

TPG's Game Time - Season 3- Episode 4 - And Now His Watch Has Ended (Game of Thrones Recap)

Nooo one dispatches their enemies like Khalesi does. Oh, hey there, how are you, good to see you, had to get that out of the way. Now let's get into this recap which had a healthy balance of violence, intrigue, family scheming, Theon Greejoy getting punk'd thrones style, and a surprising lack of sex and/or nudity, 

Direwolf Badassery - Somewhere a direwolf is growling, but we didn't hear them tonight. We only got lip service of Grandma Tyrell saying direwolves are fierce creatures that look good on shields and flags. Yes, if the Queen of Schemes herself is down with the direwolves, than hopefully the writers of Thrones will follow her lead and get some more badassery down the line.

Joffrey Swag - If you consider parading around your smoking hot wife around your dope ass hosting room swag than Joffrey had swag for days tonight. He gets bonus points for keeping the bones of his enemies around but negative points for revealing himself to be a history nerd with a bizarre hand waving motion. Also negative swag points is his inability to recognize that he is on a fast train to being whipped is.... disappointing.

1. Man Kingslayer is in a bad place. His sword hand is gone, he can't fight, he's drinking horse piss and he clearly is falling deeply in love with She Man...actually that last one is probably a good thing. Keep in mind this is a dude was pretty much a smug Prince Charming who was having sex with his sister and threw a kid out of a window. Now we're feeling bad for him? That's good writing, good acting, and just an interesting character. However, I'm not so sold on his total conversion to good-guy, he still needs one or two more selfless acts.

2. MAGIC ALERT - Varys story of his castration was a long time coming, I feel like he often mentions it as joke, but to hear the whole thing shocking. The part regarding the blue flame and the sorcerer was particularly noteworthy because A) It broadens the magic in this show more which is great B)Indicates a new magical division beyond the Melisandre red camp magic. Who are these blue magic folks? Also that is nuts that he has that sorcerer in his possession. Is he going to torture him or use him for some reason first.

3. PAUSE FOR POLITICS - For such a huge show with so many characters of a variety of different ages, genders, and races Thrones is kind of lacking in positive gay characters. I should say that while she may fit some stereotypes, I don't think Lady Brienne is gay at all. In fact as far as I know the only gay character is Loras Tyrell and he's barely on the show. Renly was but he was soft and no one took him seriously. I understand this is the world that was created, but it's a little wild that every time it comes up on the show whether is Varys talking about what people are into or Margaery talking about Renly, homosexuals always come across as disgusting. Combine this with the ridiculously stereotypical slave merchant Khalesi dealt with, the show isn't that progressive at all.

4. Let's give it up for production designer Gemma Jackson, who just makes the whole show look fantastic! The sets and the whole look of tonight's episode was stellar!

5. Last week I wondered who Theon's rescuer was, and tonight we found out he was...just another torturer. What? So this guy was killing his own men just to bring Theon back for more. That's not important, what is important is Theon revealing he never killed and kids and he basically realized he screwed up royally sacking Winterfell. His journey towards redemption has officially begun.

5.5 Also on that path toward redemption is the The Hound. He showed some serious compassion last season to Sansa and his speech about not being a murderer was on point. Where his journey takes him, I guess we'll see, but I find it very intriguing.

6. Last week jokes about Podrick's prowess with the ladies were funny, this week they're plot. What?

7. A little word about the Night's Watch Super SmackDown tonight. It was great to see Crastus go, that guy was the 2nd biggest creep on the show, obviously the 1st being Walder Frey, IT SUCKS THAT LORD COMMANDER MORMONT IS DEAD. That dude was like your old badass Uncle and I'll miss his proclamations and wisdom.

8. That dagger kill up through the throat had to be the kill of the season right?

9. So Khalesi had her big moment and yeah, as I said before, it was incredible. Roasting her enemies, freeing slaves, and marching out to pounding drums....I mean she's living the dream. Two things though: 1) This entire plot at the city was spoiled for me by the previews for the season. 2) Sir Jorah's reaction shots to the whole thing were priceless.

10. No Jon Snow this week, I wonder if he's going to cross paths with Sam as they both make their way back to the wall. Also no Robb Stark this week, ehh, I find his story the least interesting of all them.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.!

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 3 - Walk of Punishment (Game of Thrones Recap)

This guyyyyyyyy

Can you hear the laugh track playing in the background? No? That's surprising because this was easily the funniest episode of Game of Thrones yey. Sure in the past we've had some good laughs here and there, but tonight...tonight...was a welcome surprise...too bad Jaime Lannister won't be able to clap for it...zing!!!

Direwolf Badassery - .3 points. We saw some shots of Ghost pacing in the woods, probably because he knows some bad shit is going to go down at Craster's Keep, but generally pretty weak. We also got more folktales about about King Robb being able to turn into a direwolf and that he eats his enemies. Cool, but I'd rather see that in action than here some Lannister Little Rascal murmur about it.

Joffrey Swag - No Joffrey this week, he's probably busy playing with his crossbow and trying out new fashion. 

1. First hilarious part of the episode. It opened with grim serious ritual of an legend's body being sent down the river for a viking funeral. If you've ever seen the Richard Gere Camelot movie First Knight you know what I'm talking about (First Knight is dope btw), but once that dude lined up his shot...I was thinking...what if he can't hit this. Hilarity when he tries three times and fails. And then we get a true introduction to a new character Blackfish aka Ser Bryden Tully aka a dude so badass he shoots flaming arrows and walks away knowing he hit his target. That's the Game of Thrones version of a mic drop.

2. Good thing we got a silly introduction to Blackfish because in the next scene we see that he is a keen advisor to Robb Stark, who is showing that he has a daft mind for military strategy. We've seen his tactics work before, particularly with the capture of Jaime Lannister, but here we again we see him as a true warrior King. He clearly has his shit together and is plotting his next move, smart money is that it's going to be a brilliant one.

3. Thrones Comedy Part 2 - Hot Pie, aka the fat kid that hangs out with Arya, bakes a piece of wolf shaped bread for Arya as a parting gift. Considering it looked like a rhinoceros, the whole interaction with her and up and coming badass Gendry was real funny. Gendry had that look l like "how the hell did I not know you were called Fat Pie this whole time." His gentle pat on the arm goodbye was nice little coda as well.

4. So Mance is sending Snow and the BG (that's the badass Ginger Wilding) to take down the wall. Damn I'm really hoping we get a Blackwater style throw down at some point this season and double damn I really hope this is it.

5. MIND BONE - Did you hear that guy tell Theon that Winter is coming after he made quick work of those guards in the woods (the close range arrow to the head was a nice touch)? Interesting that Theon took his hand after hearing that. Does this mean Theon is back with the Starks? Is this dude a Wildling? A Stark?  

6. Damn Stannis, I love you bro, but you look like you've gone totally loopy. Chasing after your head strategist/lover/temptress/S&M partner and begging for her not to leave, like some puppy dog college kid. You're supposed to be the true king! But what was that about King's blood. What is Melisandre up to? She needs Baratheon blood? Who is she going after? Joffrey? Gendry?

7. Funniest Scene In Thrones History - Podrick Payne, Tyrion's squire get's his reward for saving Tyrion at the battle of Blackwater and naturally, since this is Thrones and we're talking Tyrion, it's a lot of sex with some whores. Keep in mind Tyrion also sent whores to the other young man he knew...Joffrey...so it seems Tyrion is not the guy who gives books with hand written notes when special occasions come up. Nevertheless when Podrick returns and tells Bronn and Tyrion they didn't take his money and he did "things", I thought I was watching...Game of Bros and they were about to drink some meads and swap bedroom stories. Hilarity.

8. Once again we're back with Khalesi and I have to say I'm just not that interested in this story. Like I know that she's going to roast this slaver dude alive, now way she lets someone as despicable as him live, so the whole promise of a dragon trade is kind of weak. Also this guy is so one-dimensional, he's starting to feel like a racist caricature of a middle eastern sleaze ball merchant and I'm not that comfortable with that.

9. The She-Man and Kingslayer relationship is one of the most complex and interesting on the show. It's clear that he finds her fascinating and is falling in love her, but how she feels about him...hard to say, at this point, but she has to be grateful. 

10.  Seeing a super babe like Khalesi walk around with two old ass dudes made me think how funny a sitcom about a fiercely independent emo-girl and her two zany grandpas would be. I'd call it The Grandragons...anybody...anybody?

See you next week!

Elysium Trailer Is Amazing

This is the follow up to District 9. This is my most anticipated movie of the year.

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 2 - Dark Wings, Dark Words (Game of Thrones Recap)

Hey.....you ever heard of a metaphor...man? Apparently Vanessa Taylor has. Who is Vanessa Taylor? Well that would the the screenwriter of tonight's episode. But we can get to the metaphors in a moment, for now, let's just grab our swords and do this thing.

Direwolf Badassery - 1/2 points. What's the phrase? All bark and no bite. Yeah that's that's the one. Maybe it was the whitewalker kill by Ghost last week, but this week, with Bran's wolf Summer just growling at an enemy, I wasn't that impressed.

Joffrey Swag -  5 Points. I believe they call it swag on swag. Just lots of gems from MC Joffrey tonight. The first, he said the conversation with his mother was "the most boring conversation ever." The second he told his mother "Intelligent women do as they're told."The third was his general put down on flowery fashion and then constant preening in the mirror. He's gotta look good yo.

1. So we met this new character Jojen Reed tonight, and if you were wondering, YES that is the kid from Love Actually. I wish he was around in the past two series to explain to us that the three eyed raven Bran keeps seeing is actually him in spirit form. Definitely would have been convenient. But seriously, what's this dude and his sister's end game? I'm not totally buying the whole, I came to help you out story. Everyone has motive and I'm sure we will find out his soon enough.

2. Theon is getting tortured with the old screws in the hands/feet routine. Maybe if you weren't such a insufferable asshole last season Theon I would care more about you.

3. MILD MIND BONE WITH PAPRIKA - Seeing the Kingslayer just talk that bullshit with She-Man (aka Brienne The Beauty) made me realize that he is the anti-Joffrey. He may be his Daddy, but considering that he's super smooth and deadly with a sword, and that Joffrey is the opposite of smooth and a coward, these two, while of the same bloodline could not be more different.

4. No Stannis this week but who cares because we got a power-starved character: Olenna Tyrell. She comes across as just a ruthless as Stannis but also with a dash of Littlefinger as well. Besides being beautifully shot, her little sit down with her Grandaughter Margaery and Sansa was one of the high points of the episode. This old lady defines cunning and I'm sure we'll see her in action shortly.

5. PAUSE FOR GENDER EQUALITY - A common knock on Game of Thrones as a show is that it's got too much sex and nudity. And while that may be true, it also has more well written female characters that any show on TV that I know of. Khalesi, Sansa, Arya, Catelyn, Brienne, Cersei, Margaery, and Ygritte are all great, well written, interesting characters. I don't think any other show can match that.

6. There wasn't a lot of Jon Snow and Mance tonight, but in their one scene, did you catch that Mance has successfully united tons of different people...something that no one in the seven kingdoms has done. A true king beyond the wall indeed.

7. I promised you metaphors so here you are. Did you catch Margaery learning how to work Joffrey's wood, I mean, weapon, I mean thing that shoots stuff out of it. Please...a little heavy handed by the writers but I get it. The future queen is playing Joffrey perfectly from riding the innuendos to telling him she wants to kill with him. Well done. Also I'm not sure if's a metaphor, maybe some of the more scholarly readers can help out in the comments, but there was a deep sexual tension running through that fight with Kingslayer and She-Man. Let me say that with a little more cheese - the sparks from the swords clashing aren't the only ones sparkling between these two...zing!!!

8. Was this the first Thrones episode where no one was killed?

9. So happy to see Arya back but damn was that disappointing to see get worked by Thoros of Mir like that. Speaking of Thoros, I'm getting a real Robin Hood vibe from him and his posse of the Brotherhood Without Banners. Really interesting to see how they fit into all this.

10. More magic in Thrones this season and I and hopefully you are happy about it. This show has a gift for making magic appear "real" (well outside of shadow vagina assassins). The concept of the Warg, or being able to see out of animals eyes is interesting and we've seen Bran do it, but I wonder if any of the Starks who seem to be very connected with their dire-wolves, can do it as well?

Gotta love that line - "There's no story a good drink won't make better." Keep that in mind until next time, tell your friends about the recap. Have a great week

TPG's Game Time - Season 3 - Episode 1 - Valar Doeheris

Valar Doeheris! This is the traditional response to "Valar Morghulis" which many of you will remember was the title of last years season finale. Man it's good to have Thrones back on the air and this opener while not full of wild spectacle sure was exciting. So what do you say we protect our nips and get into it!

Direwolf Badassery - 4 points. What a strong opening. Ghost just ripping a white walker to pieces, that's exactly how you set the tone for the season!

Joffrey Swag- 3 Points. Man I love hating this kid and he was in fine form tonight. Being a little wuss hiding out in his box while his wife helps out the orphans gives him 2 points. But dropping a line that people who keep him in meetings should be tried for treason, that's a healthy one point. Strong start, keep it up.

1. Right out of the gate we get a new city on the credits map - Astapor - which is where Khalesi was hanging out scoping out a potential new slave army. Let's talk about that for a second, that dude was slicing off nipples. In addition to that, he is disrespecting everyone left and right, whether it's the aforementioned now nippleless man, his slave/translator, Khalesi herself or Sir Jorah this guy is #1 on the list of dudes who is going to get ROASTED by those dragons.

2. Speaking of Dragons that whole catch the fish, cook the fish, eat the fish routine was incredible. Never seen a dog do that.

3. I love how for the past two seasons we've had Osha & Nan both tell little Bran Stark about the giants beyond the wall. I always wrote these off as stories, but now we see one in all their Hagrid like glory. Yes the world of Game of Thrones just got a little more magical and that's a really good thing.

4. Mance Rayder! Finally we meet the guy we first hear mentioned in season 1 and often mentioned in season 2. Portrayed by Ciarin Hinds (you probably recognize him from "Munich" or "Harry Potter") I couldn't be happier about this character's introduction. He's a good mix of smart, scary, and icy cool and I can't wait to see what happens. I dig how they acknowledge his past as brother of the Nights Watch which right away establishes a kinship between him and Jon. Also is Ygritte his daughter?

5. Gentle Mind Bone Alert - Let's talk about visual metaphors here folks.

• The Castle Getting Rebuilt At King's Landing - While they were damaged after the actions of last season, characters are re-building and re-positioning for their next move. All things crumble and all things must be rebuilt.
• Sir Davos Alone On the Rock In The Ocean - Sir Davos has always been a steadfast seafarer, father, and friend to Stannis. Yet seeing him alone on that rock in the ocean let us know that his path this season will be one where he is surrounded by no one. A man is an Island indeed.

6. When Sir Jorah tells Khalesi that she needs to prove herself a brave and strong warrior to the people in her Khalesar, you know what he is really saying --- "First you get the dragon fire, then you get the power, then you get the respect!"

7. It's nice to see the Margaery Tyrell spending time with the orphans. She's a great Queen, remind me a lot of Kate Middleton, which would mean that Joffrey was Prince William. Yikes!

8. I love Stannis, but the dude is colder than White Walker's breath. I get the seductive power of Melisandre, but he's clearly in a bad place right now. Whatever his storyline this season is, I'm sure it's going to be interesting. 

9. We didn't get to see Theon Greyjoy, Arya, or the younger Stark boys this episode, but I'm sure we'll be seeing them soon. After all this show has lots of characters to juggle.

10. That double threat of the dark tongued girl and the insect assassin out of the bocce ball seemed like a lot to handle for Khalesi, but you think she would learn by now to watch her back in foreign cities.

11. Tywin's put down of Tyrion was cold and brutal. Since Tyrion is a fan favorite, I'm putting smart money on Tywin to find a axe buried in his head by the end of the season.

Hard Livin': Understanding Spring Breakers

What is the end point of our national obsession with sex, violence, and materialism? All of the most popular blockbusters contain a "healthy" level of violence, with numerous heroes but super and none beating "bad" guys to a pulp. Moving away from movies, TV is no different with popular shows like "The Walking Dead," "The Following," and "Breaking Bad" all pushing extreme violence on their blood thirsty viewers. Obviously video games are no different with the most popular games "Call of Duty," "Grand Theft Auto," and "Halo" heavily featuring a balanced menu of guns, guts, and virtual glory. And as for sex, take a look around, it's everywhere and it's nowhere. Thanks to the Internet, porn is more readily available than ever. Through magazines, brand advertisements, TV shows, and movies, the mass-media frequently promotes hyper sexuality, but shrinks away at showing what actual healthy sex really is. I know it's been said before but is is easier to get away with a character slicing someone's head in half than it is with showing a naked body. And as for materialism, well that's just standard American belief structure, doesn't matter if you call it the"pursuit of happiness" or "Stacks on Stacks on Stacks," it's all the same general concept. Nothing defines this culture of excess like the concept of "Spring Break," at one week period you it's ok spend way too much money on travel and accommodations and break all sorts of laws while partying your ass off.

But anyway I'm started to sound a lil' old fashioned, after all I love violent movies/video games/ TV shows and yes even I have been on some wild "spring breaks." Yet I've never really wondered where these media extremes are taking us as a culture. Thankful, film director Harmony Korine does and it answers it brilliantly in his new film "Spring Breakers." What is that answer? A total break from reality.

The concept of the film is simple. Four college girls dream of going on Spring Break but aren't financially able to. They want to go for a variety of reasons including being cool and being crazy but the one that reigns supreme is a break for the norm. In order to do this they successfully rob a local restaurant and make off with all the cash they need to finance their Spring Break dreams. In order to get pumped for the robbery they say "Just get that cash, pretend like it's a video game," and "act like you're in a movie!" Prophetic words for the rest of the story.

At first the girls have a blast at Spring Break. You know what I'm talking about! Our parents called it Sex! Drugs! Rock & Roll! Today people just categorize it all under the concept of YOLO and celebrate the pursuit of hedonism with neon pink outfits and chemically designed drugs. Eventually they're busted for their partying and end up in jail which is a total buzz-kill. Not to worry promptly bailed out of jail by rapper-criminal Alien (James Franco) who is surrounded by everything that defines excess culture. He calls himself a baller, he has crazy silver teeth, money, guns, and in a genius move considers himself to be some type of blunted out street poet. As he says in a hilarious scene he has "tons of shit" which is the simplest way to save he's living a material life.  Yet soon, he promptly wraps the girls up in a life of crime, robbing their former partying cohorts at gunpoint, shooting shotguns into the night sky, and having group sex on top of money and guns! In now time at all, the girls are pretty much Alien's gangster soldiers in his war with his former best friend and current rival Big Arch (Gucci Mane).

What makes Spring Breakers brilliant is how far our hedonistic culture can take you if you let it run rampant. Korine frequently cuts to random strangers partying (sometimes naked) and over time it becomes numbing, which I believe was his intention. Over the course of the film, characters depart Florida either by bus or by bullet and as each one leaves the story, whoever is left gets deeper and deeper into depravity and become more soulless.

SPOILER WARNING

At the end of the film, in a very Scarface like finale, our two bikini clad sex kitten spring break warrior babes and their father/lover/mentor Alien lead an assault on Big Arch's beach mansion. Alien dies quickly, without getting off a shot, the reason for this being that he isn't "hard" or "real" enough after all. Like many wanna-be gangsters, he's all fiction, aka he's fronting. But our Spring Breakers, the same girls who did the robbery and stuck around after their friends left, they're the real deal. In a brilliant camera move at the end of the film, the camera (and such the world) literally turns upside down and nothing is real anymore. . . YOLO indeed as the characters become the the video game characters they once said they should pretend to be. They're impervious to bullets and kill a ridiculousness amount of bad guys without getting a scratch on their bangin bikini bodies. This is the end point of our obsession with sex, money and violence - a total break for reality. Excess has trumped morality. Real life does not exist at this stage of hard living.

And yet the end of the film as the two babes drive into the sunset in their newly claimed Lamborghini they look empty. They've broken free from reality and found...nothing. That is what Korine is saying with this film. At the end of excess, at the end of all the parties, drugs, techno, money, and as Alien puts it "all types of shit," lies an hollow meaningless life. After all if Spring Break never ends, it just becomes a new type or boring hell.

Zero Dark Thirty Explains How The Counter-Terrorism Machine Works And Does It Brilliantly

How much do you really know about the war on terror? Think about it, for a war that "started" on September 11th 2001, how much to do you know about the gritty details of the war against Al Queda that has been raging ever since? Sure you may have some general concepts of it, but where do they come from? Do they come from popular television shows like "24," "Homeland," and "The Unit?" Or maybe they're rooted in films such as "The Kingdom," "Syriana," "Act of Valor," or "The Hurt Locker?" Does it come from massively popular counter-terrorist video games like "Call of Duty" and "Medal of Honor?" Does it come from journalists who have exposed atrocities like Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay?  Face it, you don't really know much about how it all really works.

"Zero Dark Thirty" provides a thrilling vision for how the machine works. Screenwriter Marc Boal and Kathryn Bigelow have done their research (and are in some hot water in Washington over it) and presented us with a two and half hour movie that compresses 10 years of counter-terrorism. And man, what a movie they have delivered. The anchor of the whole story is a female CIA agent known as Maya (Jessica Chastain), who pretty much dedicates her life to finding Bin Laden. Other characters played by recognizable actors come and go for periods of time, but it is her who is always front and center. This is no easy task and Chastain absolutely knocks it out of the park, capturing the fierce tenacity of her character but also the small cracks in her stoicism. 

Like Chastain's incredible acting, nearly everything in the movie is dynamite. Her co-stars are always on point. The sound-design, editing, and cinematography are all incredible. The final scene of the raid on the compound is astounding. A combination of first person camera shots, multiple characters in different floors, and sudden violence is a master-class in tense action cinema. And finally Marc Boal's script zooms along like a fighter jet, never once was I bored, something I can't say about other Academy Award nominated films this year. But these are elements that you would expect from the an Academy Award Winning filming team. The true strength of "Zero Dark Thirty" lies in the power of it's moral convictions about the sweeping and somewhat disturbing power of American vengeance. 


With the frantic calls of people trapped in the towers on 9/11 opening the film and other terrorist attacks shown in terrifying detail, the film does an effective job of showing why it was so important that we decimated Al-Queda. As each part of the "greatest manhunt in history" unfolds you get a real sense of the American Intelligence and military system and it's hard not to feel proud that we were able to accomplish such a momentous task as finding and killing the man responsible for destroying so many innocent people. Not since "Saving Private Ryan" has a film so accurately portrayed the people who dedicate their lives to our country. And unlike Spielberg's film where almost everyone is noble and true, many of the characters in the story, particularly those involved in the films controversial torture scenes bear the scars of the damage they inflected onto others. The final shot of the film, which I won't' spoil is a perfect example of this emptiness even in the face of "victory."

As a huge fan of "24" and reluctant "Homeland" addict I will be tackling some of the films politics in a future post, but for now, this is my official recommendation that this is my favorite film of 2012, and one that is highly informative about how, for better or worse, the counter-terrorism machine works.

Return to Formula: Why The Hobbit is Both Exhilarating & Dissapointing

At one point in Peter Jackson's new film "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" two villains square off in an epic showdown. How epic are we talking here? We are talking everything around them burning creating an arena of fire. We're talking blaring choral music on the soundtrack reminding that this brawl is gonna be serious. And finally we get characters that we care about/despise battling in slow motion. It's satisfying, thrilling, and well, nothing you haven't seen before. And this scene pretty much sums up the entire film.

You see the film follows the blue-print of it's predecessor "The Lord of the Rings" so completely it almost feels like you're not watching a new film, but just the ridiculously long deleted scenes of the ones that came before. Of course if the ones that came before were incredibly Oscar winning borderline masterpieces, that's not a bad thing, but it's also kind of a reminder that's it not anything new. That's not to say the story isn't different. Instead of destroying a ring, now we have a fellow of money hungry dwarves going on adventure to reclaim their piles of gold the terrible dragon Smaug took from them. Yes, even in Middle Earth, CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME. Joining them on this journey is hobbit handkerchief aficionado Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the wise wizard.

Here are just a couple of the stylistic elements from the LOTR trilogy that make into this "new film."

• Epic sweeping vistas accompanied by swelling orchestrations. 
• A wide variety of evil creatures including trolls, goblins, evil ghosts, and maybe orcs but I may be getting those confused with the goblins. 
• Heads getting lopped off.
• Heroes jumping from different platforms inside collapsing caves.
• Jokes are made about zany wizards doing too many drugs.
• A groovy visit to the waterfall mega chill resort / Elf hangout spot Rivendell

And yet despite all these similarities, some of which are rooted in the text, the film still works. I mean the ingredients may be generally the same, but the end result is a different meal. Around the halfway point (1.5 hours in mind you!) I found myself really invested in the adventure of it all. The whole thing just really clicks and even though now and then you're like, damn, I saw this scene in the previous movie, it's still awesome. 

So if you were wondering, "The Hobbit" is a lot of fun. But, it also seems completely in director Peter Jackson's comfort zone, so much to the point that's it feels like he's not really trying to show us anything new. It should be noted that Jackson got his dwarf on and didn't agree to make the film until his haul from the Rings movies was adjusted so there is kind of a sour element to it. Also visionary director Guillermo Del Toro was linked to the project for a long time before leaving due to delays. On the screen I was marveling most the of the time, but also felt myself longing for a movie that like Bilbo Baggins, wasn't afraid to go on a random adventure.

As for my theory on it that I wouldn't dig the movie because of Game of Thrones, the film is so different from Thrones it doesn't really matter. But what does matter....Winter is Coming!

A Tale of Two Shows: Why Homeland Must Become 24 To Survive

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL OF SEASON 2 OF HOMELAND DON'T READ THIS POST.

The mighty Emmy venerated "Homeland" had a really disappointing season because it has no idea of what kind of show it is. All the big shows on TV right now are extremely confident in what they're doing. "Walking Dead" is a rip-roaring horror adventure. "Boardwalk Empire" is a bloody historical drama. "Mad Men" & "Breaking Bad" are studies in masculinity & American identity. Shit, even "Game of Thrones" is kind of a fantasy parable of power and family. But "Homeland" like it's two main characters is in the middle of a massive identity crisis. It has no idea if it wants to be a smart dramatic dissection of the war on terrorism or if it wants to crackle and pop with "24" style counter-terrorism action and twists. Right now it's attempting to be both and it's coming apart at the seams like Carrie on wine,jazz,and pills bender.

I covered the ways that the show tries to make it "real world" in my last takedown of the show. I don't need to get into it again, but I feel bad I neglected to mention how the creators and their relentless drive for realism managed to anger the real life nations of Israel & Lebanon. Last night's attack from beyond the grave was further evidence of how far away the show has gotten from the real world.

I found the explosion last night, while certainly unexpected, to be completely ridiculous and reeking of the stench of a group of writers who had no idea what they were doing the whole season. The only way that an attack of that magnitude would be possible would be with extensive help on the inside, and as we all know, "Homeland" has been playing coy with it's mole-hunt for the past two seasons. It's obvious they have no idea who it is, it is not a "leak," but rather a "well" of story devices that writers can use to kind of explain necessary plot occurrences. In the "real world" drama-politics of the show, you really believe that at the VICE PRESIDENT'S FUNERAL, somebody could park a car on a sidewalk in front of a giant glass room full of important people and that no one would notice? Even by the shows already established rules, it was preposterous. Sure you might say it's only a TV show and I'm being nit-picky, but, again this is a show that links to the real world terrorism in it's opening credits and plot-lines so it doesn't get a free-pass. And you know what else it is? It is "24" shit, through and through.

You see, no matter how hard it tries, "Homeland" will never escape from the legacy of "24." It doesn't matter how many times Saul says the Hebrew prayer for the dead over a stunning sea of dead bodies or each well-written Abu-Nazir monologue about the nature of US Imperialism, as they say on that other show, "resistance is futile." With all plausibility out of the window now, the only way to save the show is to go full throttle with the "24" level madness. I'm all for it. I miss "24" every ticking second of each day. I hunger for the movie. And I think most people to do. When people talk about "Homeland," they talk about the crazy VP bunker scene last season, the brazen terrorist attack at the tailor's office, or the countless surveillance missions. No one says (at least anymore) says "Gosh I love Homeland for it's murky dissection of middle Eastern politics." I'd rather have a completely implausible well-acted espionage thriller, than a bumbling show failing to engage on any level. After all, we all need to pick a side sometime.

Star Trek Into Darkness Teaser Drops

So here we have it the reveal trailer for the highly anticipated "Star Trek Into Darkness," which is the sequel to 2009's epic reboot of Star Trek which pretty much everyone in the Universe/Galaxy loved. This one continues the standard trend of getting daaaarrrrrrhhhhkkkkk dude with some moody villains and high stakes, you can thank "The Dark Knight" for that.

I't s semi well known that I am not a Trekkie, but I since I did love the last film and thought that Wrath of Khan was hype worthy, I'm really jazzed for this. I mean this is the movie to beat for Summer 2013 or at least until that FAST 6 TRAILER DROPS.

What's Your Fantasy: How Game of Thrones Has Made Me Not That Excited For The Hobbit

I'm about a level 5 Tolkien nerd. Let's go over my credentials here for a second.

• Before I could read myself, my Dad read me The Hobbit and the entire Lord of the Rings (LOTR) series to me before bedtime. This took about a year. We warmed up to this endeavor by reading The Chronicles of Narnia.
• I saw every LOTR movie in the theater on opening night and loved every single second of them. I even stood in the cold New England rain for The Return Of The King on opening night, totally worth it.
• I've played The Return of The King for PS2 to completion. Game is totally on point btw.
• I know what The Simarillion is, but haven't read it.
• I've dabbled in the special editions (aka the long ass versions) of the movies but have never watched.
• I can tell you that it was bogus that Tom Bombadil wasn't in the movies.
• I can tell you it was even more bogus that they didn't include "The Sacking of the Shire" even after they show a glimpse of it in Fellowship.

So yeah, I'm semi-deep into it, not nearly as deep as others, but I like to think I have some nerd/street cred in that area. Yet when I see the trailers, posters, and other relentless press the machine is cooking up for the feature adaptation of "The Hobbit," I'm just not that excited. I mean, I'm still a nerd, I almost exploded in nerd joy at "The Avengers," got way too deep into the semi-bullshit mythology of "Prometheus," and really enjoyed "The Dark Knight Rises." For weeks now I've been trying to figure out what about "The Hobbit" wasn't getting me on the hype train, and then I started seeing billboards around town for something else and it all clicked.

It comes back to HBO's epic fantasy series "Game of Thrones," which if you haven't seen it, is pretty much the iron price / gold standard for fantasy these days. If you've been following along with my recaps of the show, you know I'm a fiend for it, and I'm not alone in my addiction. Pretty much everyone who watches it is positively stark raving madly obsessed with it. And they should be, with its complex web of characters, fantastic production values, racy sex, awesome violence, stacks of political intrigue, and of course healthy doses of fantasy/magic, the show is incredible. 

Which brings me to "The Hobbit," the trailers for it have made the whole thing to look like some type of sleek cartoon, full of zany dwarves and fantastical creatures that don't look that real or dangerous. I don't know if they are just bad special effects, but I get a bizarre Star Wars Episode 1 Phantom Menace vibe from the whole thing. It looks to cartoony and after watching the gritty battles of Thrones with limbs getting hacked off, mud and dirt flying, and just the intensity of the whole thing , "The Hobbit" is looking like it was created on a green screen, kind of a "King Kong" vibe to reference Peter Jackson. 

If you want to get deeper into it, you can point out that "The Return of the King" came out in 2003, in a time where they wasn't any serious fantasy TV shows. Prior to "Thrones" almost all fantasy shows were syndicated programs like "Xena" or "Hercules," which were mediocre at best. The movies was where you went for epic fantasy. However, now, the three new Hobbit films seems like a limited way to tell epic stories, regardless of their lengths. The Game of Thrones series of books will max out at seven, and if you figure that each season will be one book, that's seven seasons of 10 episodes each an hour long. That's about 70 hours of fantasy goodness as opposed to the nine hours of "The Hobbit" (and I'm being generous assuming each movie is 3 hours long!) And when it comes to Fantasy, longer is always better.

Honestly, I hope I'm wrong, I really want to like "The Hobbit," and I'm definitely seeing it opening weekend, but there is no doubt then when I step out of that theater into the cold night air, I may be thinking how awesome it was, but I most certainly in some corner of my mind will be thinking "winter is coming!"

Tigers, God, & Faith: My Take On The "Life of Pi" Ending

For some, the ending of the book/film "Life of Pi" can be infuriating. I remember being confused by it when I read the book and also slightly befuddled when I saw the astounding screen adaptation this past weekend. For those of you who need a quick refresher, here is the basic gist of it:

After Pi is safely on the shore, he gives the testimony of his survival to the Japanese company that owned the sunken ship. In the narrative we've heard for most of the book, he's on the boat with Richard Parker the tiger, an orangutan, a zebra, and a hyena. The hyena ends up killing both the orangutan and the zebra, and then Richard Parker kills the hyena, leaving just Pi and the beast on the boat to survive. In the second story, there were no animals, each one is really a person. The hyena is really the crude French cook who kills both the zebra (a kind sailor) and the orangutan (Pi's mother ) and then eventually is killed by the Tiger (Pi). The reader/viewer much like the Japanese fishing company has to decide which one they believe.

There is no doubt this is initially a frustrating ending, I mean, it undermines most of the narrative! But stick with me with here, I think I have a reasonably good take on what it all means!

It all comes down to Richard Parker and whether you believe in God or not. 

Non-Believer

If you don't believe in God (nothing wrong with that) than the rugged non-animal version of the story is for you. This is a tale of the gritty, can-do human spirit, which has the power to vanquish any foe, and conquer any task. This is the highly individualistic way to look at the narrative. No one is going to help us. Not our parents, not strangers, not the world, not even God (if he was real). The only person you can rely on is yourself. And if you believe in yourself and your will to survive, you have a tiger within you who can help you overcome any obstacle.

Believer

Throughout the story Richard Parker plays many parts for Pi, all of them related to how different religions view God. 

Islam believes that God is all powerful and unknowable. This is similar to the violent power of the Tiger but also how ultimately after all the duo goes through, Richard Parker leaves him on the beach. They have may coexisted with each other, but Pi never really knew or understood him.

Christianity believes in a loving God who was made real and walked the earth to help us. This is similar to Richard Parker because as the story progresses the two begin to share a real bond and Pi leans on him to survive both physically and emotionally. Sometimes he may be a harsh first testament type of God, but ultimately the connection between the two is one of love. This is evident is the heartbreaking scene where Pi consoles the dying Richard Parker.

Hinduism believes in multiple Gods, and that true knowledge of God is when a person gives them-self completely to the Universe. Pi through Richard Parker and his ordeal on the boat, ultimately learns to give himself to Vishnu, the God mentioned in the film as the entire Universe. Think about the scene where Pi is on the raft screaming that gives himself to God as evidence of this. Richard Parker also represents the many different evil and kind Gods found in Hinduism.

Finally, I want to touch on one last thing, which is how Richard Parker seemingly abandons Pi on the beach, just walking off into the jungle without looking back at him. The point of this is the same for the all the religions in the book and also faith in general: God is there for you, even if you can't see him/her/it. Richard Parker doesn't abandon Pi, he gets rescued after all. He just walked off into the jungle, maybe to go help someone else who needs him. If you believe that Richard Parker was Pi himself, then Richard Parker never looking back signifies that Pi's individualistic self is leaving him because he's not needed. He will resurface again, when the time comes.

Either way, both stories are pretty inspiring and the beauty of the book/film is that both of them work for different people. If you're a rugged individualist atheist, the film can be seen as a powerful testament to the human spirit. If you're a spiritual person, the film is jam packed for you with a bounty of belief systems of and spiritual knowledge. I'm sure I have missed some things here so if you have a theory, please leave it in the comments.

Faith & Tigers: Life of Pi Astounds

A teenager and a dangerous tiger are trapped on a lifeboat. That simple premise for Yann Martel's "Life of Pi" was enough to pull me into the novel when I first read it upon publication in 2001. I can recall that some of the novel's themes of religion, spirituality, hope, the nature of truth, and man's relationship with nature were totally lost on me when I read it. Nevertheless, like classic survival stories like "Robinson Crusoe," "Castaway," or even"Lost" I found the tale to be gripping and highly memorable. So like many of my favorite books, I tracked it's journey to the screen with a fierce diligence. And boy, since 10 years have past since I first read it, it certainly took a long time to get to the screen.

Like most best-selling books turned films, many exciting directors were linked to the project. M. Night Shyamalan (when he was at the top of his game) was connected to it at one point and so was Alfonso Cuaron.  Whimsical French director Jean Pierre Jeunet was linked to it as well. So in 2009, when Ang Lee was announced as the director, I was skeptical that it would actually get going. And since the story doesn't really require any movie-stars, the production was mostly silent. When the first image of the film was released last year, I was shocked that it had actually made it to the screen. With every new image, trailer, and article, I found it harder to believe that one of the novels that I had loved growing up was finally hitting the screen after all these years. When I finally found myself seated in the theater with my 3D glasses on I was fully on board the TPG hype train and the it was jam packed with 10 years of anticipation.

The movie does not disappoint. I found it to be a rousing adventure story with a strong spiritual element . Beyond the narrative though, this is an incredibly breathtaking film. How ironic that last week I was praising the visuals in "Skyfall" and then this visual firecracker of a film comes right in and keeps the party going. Everything from the incredible computer generated tiger, the massive mountains of water rolling in the ocean, and the trippy underwater/intergalactic scenes are jaw-dropping. Real talk, in 3-D they're positively mind blowing. It doesn't matter if it's a massive storm tearing apart a ship, the migrations of thousands of meerkats, or just the tiger leaping out at the audience,  this is visual storytelling at its finest. Sure, they are flashy, but they only aid in the telling the story, with only one speaking character for a majority of the film, the visuals are almost a second character, capable of really making the audience feel.

But ultimately, a film needs more than trippy vishuals maynnne, it needs a strong story, and the narrative here is still resonant and effective. Using a simple framing device of having a present day Pi narrate it to a young author, we get some great scenes of his early childhood and experimentation with love, family, nature, and most of all religion. The film, like the book makes a point to show how our characters uses aspects of Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism to inform his believes, which are important because they are repeatedly tested. Once our hero's boat crashes and he is stranded with the tiger, who goes by the name Richard Parker, the scenes of them learning to survive with one another are extremely rewarding. One would think that surviving on a lifeboat with a tiger would be impossible to film, but Lee and his team get it done with brilliant flying colors.

This film is an incredible treat for the eyes, heart, and soul and I highly highly recommend it. Don't wait for it on the small screen as the big screen 3D is the way to see it. It will make you believe in the power of the human spirit, the importance of faith, and in some ways, just how rewarding a trip to the movie theater can be.

The New Normal: How Skyfall Uses The Past To Re-Invent The Franchise

I saw the new James Bond flick "Skyfall" about a week ago and I'm still basking in how awesome it was. Longtime readers will know that I have been hyping up the flick for over a year, with most of my attention on the babes that they were were supposed to be cast. Of course, while I was wrong about who ended up being the bombshells, I was correct to have extreme confidence in the flick. For me, it was one of the most exciting movies of the year and easily the best big budget practical action film I've seen in 2012. Yet beyond the film's epic action spectacle, visual nirvana, and amazing villain, I was most thrilled to see the franchise finally come into it's own for the 21st century.

Way back in 2006, I reviewed "Casino Royale" for the Syracuse University paper.  I announced that the film was a successful re-invention of the character, yet lamented that Bond had become almost all ass-kicking and had lost most of his suave spy swagger. Yet the Bond of that film was the one that was needed for the times. Facing down spy challengers like Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer, Bond had no choice but to evolve as a character. From Bourne he gained a brutal fighting style that saw him smashing through walls and free running through construction sites like some British Olympian. From Bauer, he gained the concept of heroism through sacrifice. In the 21st century, you can't be a true servant of your country if you don't lose the ones that matter to you.  Both of these thematic imprints were all over the dismal "Quantum of Solace." From a filmmaking style, the action took the trademark "Bourne" shaky cam and used to it hide everything cool about James Bond action - epic stunts, exotic locations, and nice gadgets/cars/guns. The story involved Bond hunting down his true love's killers and getting mixed up in some water/oil politics was bogus. In the two years since "Casino Royale," Bond had once again become outdated. Things can change quickly for spies.

In the new film, one of the wisest decisions director Sam Mendes makes is to abandon any connection to the previous two. Gone is the broken-hearted loner of the past films who is plagued with a quest for revenge. The Bond is "Skyfall" is confident, deadly, and an effective team player. This last detail is important as the new film introduces us to many characters who will be with 007 moving forward for some time. These include classic characters such as "Q," re-imagined here as a hacker genius, and Moneypenny, who gets a nice little 21st politics gender update. Re-introducing these characters is just one of many ways the franchise draws on its past to define it's future. 

Speaking of that, the genius of Skyfall is how effectively the past of the franchise is used to shape it's new direction. The villain, Silva, creepily played by Javier Bardem has many traits of the villains of the yonder-year. With the ability to hack governments and cause chaos he's a international-threat, just done up hacker style. He even has his own secret Island base where he interrogates Bond in one of the films most memorable scenes. The film uses these familiar tropes as the building blocks to give us something new in the villain, a deeply personal motivation. Gone are the days of dastardly plans for world takeovers, no, this villain just wants to kill your employer, which in the case of James Bond, who we learn is an orphan, is equal to killing his family. It's a more personal motivation for the villain which makes the stakes even higher. I'm not gonna get into the vague gender politics of the gay elements of Silva, and while they lead to a great scene, they don't really contribute to the plot. I find it weird to say that Silva is more evil/more creepy cause he vaguely threatens him sexually.

As the film progresses, we continue to get familiar Bond essentials to bring us back into the fold and make us forget the previous films. Here's an updated version of the PPK handgun. Oh look at that, there is a pit filled with dangerous creatures that Bond must avoid. There's the Martini, prepared without the tagline,  but present nonetheless.  Here comes the Aston Martin, weapons intact. All of these are welcome additions and but the real star of the show here is cinematographer Roger Deakins and Mendes direction. This is easily the best looking Bond film ever made, and it ranks up there as one of the best looking movies ever made. Every shot is beautifully constructed with a tremendous visual palette. The editing is smooth and fluid and knows how to show off the action well. But if you didn't hear me before, visually this film is knockout, in fact I hope it wins the Oscar.

Ultimately the film is a rousing spectacle of entertainment that is just very well made. The franchise successfully stops trying to emulate the other spies of the era, and sticks to it's roots, but isn't afraid to grow new branches. The babes are stunning, the action is kick-ass, and Daniel Craig has never been better. Longtime readers will you know your boy TPG puts the theatrical experience above anything else and with the mind-blowing visuals and bombast sound, "Skyfall" is a perfect example of just how fun going to the movies can be.

*Best all around action film of the year is still "The Raid."

India The Dreamland: Thoughts on Gregory David Roberts Novel: Shantaram

It's rare that so many different people from a variety of facets of your life all recommend the same book. Granted, talking about books outside of book club (Hollywood Book Club represent) is not common, but when car-pool buddies, co-workers, hippie meditating dudes who work at spiritual bookstores, random travelers in Costa Rica, and even trusted friends all recommend a book you gotta pay attention. If you couldn't guess by the title/picture to the left, that book was Gregory David Roberts 936 page epic Indian tale; Shantaram, which after a two year odyssey of false starts, throw-aways, and diversions I have just finished.

Simply put, the novel is sprawling epic that while highly memorable but also plagued with contradictions. Roberts as a writer is adept a writing an engaging story with memorable characters, but his style, full of observations about every situation grows irritating over time. I know that sounds kind of confusing, but just take a look at the first line of the whole book.

It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured.

Phrases like this are the backbone of the book. There is a philosophical musing combined with some "thug life" observation. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. The novel's protagonist, Lin, the Roberts substitute will stab some gangsters and then say some nonsense like "The knife is just God's way of a reminding us that we're all made from the same material." All these observations also fit into the general theme of everyone in the story casually being awesomely stoned all the time. Maybe that's how they did it in India in the 80s or maybe Roberts knows his audience and he is giving them what they want, I suspect it's a combination of both.

But actually that's pretty much my only gripe with this story. It's much more violent and exciting than I thought it would be. Don't let the gold-tinged cover fool you, this is an epic crime novel more than anything else. The characters from the all powerful mafia boss Khan to the lowliest slum dwellers all seem to pop off the page and the novel makes Bombay sound so damn exciting, I really wanna go there.

So am I recommending it? Yes, I am, it's not as mind-blowingly awesome as the hype but it's still exciting, just be ready to tackle all 936 pages. If that page count is intimidating to you, I recommend the equally mystical Rule of the Bone: Novel, a (Google Affiliate Ad). But if you're up to get transported to  Bombay and all the grime, love, and excitement, yar, I'd grab a copy of it today.

Arnold Returns To Conan (With King-Sized Expectations)

At the final scene of John Milius's epic "Conan The Barbarian," Conan aka Arnold aka The Barbarian aka The Destroyer sits on his throne surrounded by glowing red mist, decked out in shiny armor and the latest fur fashions of the Hyborian time, thinking about all the enemies he's crushed, all the people that his armies drove before him, and all the lamentation he's heard (yes in that order.) This scene assures us that Conan lived a good life and became a king, aka the biggest boss of all bosses. It's a comforting ending to a brutal movie.

But we all know that Conan can't sit on a throne forever, there are always camels to punch, snakes that need to come together, and Crom to be praised to/scorned. So today we get the announcement that Arnold will reprise the role of King Conan in a new film coming out in 2014. We will finally learn just what happened when the red smoke cleared.

Gotta say I'm pretty excited about this, Conan is straight up a wild ass movie fulls of tons of Arnoldisms, gore, sex, battles, and James Earl Jones turning into a snake. If this sequel is Rated R* and snags a great director* we could be in for a awesome cinematic treat that delivers on the epic promise of  King Conan. So, yeah, at this point I'm extraordinarily thrilled about the announcement and the premise.

*It's being targeted as a tentpole release for Universal so who knows if it will be rated R
**Getting the right director is essential here. My vote would be for Ridley Scott, Alfonso Cuaron, or Darren Aronosfky.

Iron Man 3 Trailer

This looks like Marvel is finally making their "serious" super hero movie. I would have seen it if the whole thing was Iron Man watching the highlights from The Avengers while eating popcorn, but this looks pretty great.

The Terrorist At Home: Why Homeland Praise Is Misplaced

"Homeland," returned to the airwaves with the vengeance on Sunday night. Now sporting a host of well deserved Emmy trophies for stars Damian Lewis, Claire Danes, and of course the top prize for best drama, and based off the massive ratings increase, everyone is hooked again. Understandably so, it's a fantastically thrilling piece of entertainment. And yet despite it's golden hardware and ripped from the headlines plots, it still resides in the shadow of the big daddy terrorism show of the 20th century - "24." Coming from Howard Gordon & Alex Gansa, the same creator's of the seminal real-time thriller, "Homeland" is billed as the more liberal, thoughtful, interesting follow up to the Jack Bauer power hour. As the New Yorker put it, "Homeland" is the "antidote to 24."

“24” was also a carrier for some terrible ideas, among them the notion that torture is the best and only way to get information; that Muslim faith and terrorist aims overlap by definition.

Whaaaaat? Between the Emmy wins, the prestige that cable brings, and decreased dependence on "24" famous torture scenes, everyone seems to be looking past all extreme right wing paranoia that, just like Sgt. Brody laying in wait in our government, has infiltrated this show. First things first, "Homeland" like "24" features Islamic terrorists hell-bent on destroying the United States. The man behind this jihad is Abu Nazir, our Bin-Laden substitute, a terrorist puppet master who has his paws in EVERYTHING around the world. As Sean T. Collins points out in his great write up on the show in Rolling Stone, here is Nazir's  organization so far:

A fully trained Marine sniper

A second fully trained Marine sniper, partner of the first one no less, presumed dead and smuggled back into the United States to live totally off the grid

Enough crowbar-wielding goons to successfully kidnap the first fully trained Marine sniper out of a supermarket parking lot

A college professor

The college professor's all-American daughter-of-an-oil-exec wife

Enough bomb-making, machine-gun-wielding agents across the Midwest to booby-trap a safehouse and go full ending-of-Scarface on a motel room where the college professor and his wife were hiding

A Saudi diplomat with full immunity and extensive goon access

A Saudi prince who may not be on the payroll per se but doesn't mind hugging the world's most wanted man

The Saudi prince's right-hand man, who takes breaks from his main gig as the prince's pimp to tap into an extensive network of jewelry fences, off-the-books money managers and limo-driving hitmen

A Gettysburg-based suicide-vest tailor

A reporter powerful enough to get high-ranking CIA officials to drop everything and run to meet her on demand

And last but not least, a freaking mole inside the CIA capable of tipping off surveillance targets, triggering suicide bombings and stealing the combinations to hidden office safes.

I didn't have a problem with these larger than life villains in "24," because the whole show was preposterous, but in "Homeland," having a villain like that is irresponsible. Why? Because "Homeland," deals with issues like drone strikes, Iran-Israel relations, CIA legalities, and Brodie's Islamic faith so well, it's disappointing that they opt for the cartoonish villain. "24" never dealt with issues like that, it was too busy defusing bombs and kicking ass. But having the shadowy terrorist with the turban lurking in the background pulling the strings in "Homeland" is inconsistent with the rest of the dieas of the show, and the whole thing suffers.

But if Abu Nazir is the mastermind who lurks (mostly) overseas, Sgt. Brodie is his man on the ground in the U.S.A. Since the show first began, the central premise always reminded me of season four of "24," where your normal suburban neighbor is actually a bloodthirsty terrorist. In that season the Araz family including their teenage son actively planned terrorist attacks, tried to kill Jack Bauer, and of course murdered the all American teenage girl next door because she knew too much. This central concept of the "terrorist next door" was revisited again in season six with Ahmed Amar (played by Kal Penn of all people.) It is an effective story device that plays on our timeless fears of enemy infiltration, and it's no wonder that "Homeland" uses it as well, it's just slightly ironic that when "24" showed terrorists next door it was controversial and required Fox to release disclaimers before episodes, but when "Homeland" shows Islamic terrorists next door and infiltrating our government, it doesn't matter if the whole thing is Michelle Bachman inspired insanity, it's just gripping television.

"Homeland" is great television (even President Obama loves it), yet the path ahead for it is not easy. So far it's been more engaging politically than "24," but we'll see how long that lasts with more and more sleeper terrorists emerging from the woodwork. Things like that make realize that the reason we are flipping for it is because it's just "24" in different packaging.

The Thrill of Mystery - The Master, Prometheus, & The Appeal Of The Difficult

"The Master" is all the rage in theaters right now and everyone from your wanna be filmmaker nephew to your ultra preppy neighbor has seen it, wants to see it, or is getting ready to pretend like they have seen it. The film, like it's central protagonist Freddy Quell (Joaquin Phoenix) is wildly unpredictable, insanely well acted, beautifully shot, and incredibly hard to understand. When I walked out of the film I couldn't tell if it was a bad movie or I wasn't smart enough to understand it. My enjoyment of the film didn't really kick in until I had engaged in a numerous amount of discussion on what the whole was really about or..."what it all means...man."

The film is deliberately set up to be difficult. There is no strong narrative and the finale involves a bizarre song not some bowling alley beat down or frog monsoon. No, the film wants you to be perplexed, because it wants you to figure it out, sorry, this is no buckle up "ride" experience, this is cinema that taxes your brain and demands your to think! This concept that some entertainment demands to be dissected into little pieces is not a new one, but recently our entertainment is starting to really challenge us more and more.

Think about this summer's films. We had the much hyped alien thrill ride "Prometheus," which sparked lengthy discussion about our relationship with the heavens (both literally and figuratively) and where the original alien monster came from. Even "The Avengers" factored in a random villain at the end that needed some moderate level comic book nerd explanation. And let's not forget the "The Bourne Legacy" which almost drowned out it's motorcycle chases and hallway beat-downs with characters actively engaged in theorizing about shadow programs, chemical supplements, and the implications of an unseen character & the plotlines of three other movies. It's hip to be convoluted, the audience can figure it, hell, the audience wants to figure it out. One of the biggest groans of the whole summer, was in "The Dark Knight Rises,"when heroic cop John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) reveals his old name is "Robin" induced not yelps of joy, but rather groans of "Why you have to tell us that."

Why is this theorizing so popular these days? I think it's because we want to feel like we're figuring something out. It's so easy to figure out simple problems that onced vexed us. Google provides us to literally the answer to everyone of our questions from "what is the boiling point of water," to "what do Snake Eyes mean in Monopoly." Gone are the days of working it out for ourselves, so when a film or a TV openly challenges us to engage it, it's open season for everyone to come up with their own take. In a world of constantly given answers, sometimes the thrill is having someone actually make it difficult to unravel it all. "The Master" is the apex of this wild "just try to understand it" story-telling that' we've found ourselves in, so just be warned, you don't have to bring a pencil and paper into to take notes to get it, but prepare, as you've now been accustomed to, to have your brain/soul/past life challenged.