TPG's Game Time: Episode 1 - The North Remembers

See that red comet in the sky? That means that my recaps of "Game of Thrones" have returned. With "Spartacus: Vengeance" ending this past weekend, "Game of Thrones" is back to give me my dose of crazy intricate family politics, epic violence, gratuitous nudity, dragons, spoiled little brat kids, and of course dragons (did I already say that). So what do you say we grab out bull helmets and dive into the episode.


Direwolf Badassery - 1.5 points. We got to see Robb Stark's direwolf Grey Wind get super intense entrance and menacing growl. I also gave half points from Bram seeing the inner direwolf in his trippy dream.

Joffrey Swag - 2 Points. For those of you who don't know this is when the most hated character on TV does something so evil it can only be considered cool, on a extremely" ironic meta Tony Montana why do we like bad things" way. So I give him points for the wine pour of almost death and talking shit to his mother, and yes this is hard to measure.


1. Did you notice the new opening credits? The budget for this sequence, which has been parodied on "The Simpsons" since season one ended, seems to have gone up substantially. There are new places (Dragonstone!) on the map and more details on the ones that we know (The Stark Tree blooming for example). I get a very Age of Empires 2 vibe from the whole thing, and I think that's a good thing.

2. MIND BONE APPETIZER - Red Comet, what's it all about folks? Besides the accurate assessment that the dragons are coming, Ned Stark is dead, and the Lannister's are sneaky bastards, what it really means is that everyone on this show sees their own destiny in front of them, waiting to be taken. It's yours for the taking and remember people you win or you die!

3. Speaking of dragons, after an entire season of waiting for them, it's a trip to see them actually on the show, even more of a trip to see them in a cage. Are we going to have to wait another season to see them in action?

4. So glad Game of Thrones picked up right where it left off..... killing horses. Last season had two dead horses, this season has already got one, anybody want to gamble on how many we'll see.

5. The first time we Stannis Baratheon is on a beach filled with fiery effigies, burning swords, and sizzling (not literally) witch priestess advisor Melisandre. Other shows take notice, that's how you introduce a new character. Stannis is a cold beast so far and the fact that his old advisor hates his resident soothsayer enough to try to poison her speaks to what influence she will have on the plot going forward.

6. My new favorite character this season is Sir Davos Seaworth. I'm a big fan of actor Liam Cunningham who plays him, but also there is no way that this dude is not going to be regulating on people this season.

7. Good to see that Littlefinger was up on the The Hunger Games way before anyone else at King's Landing. That Mockingbird pin was pretty damn close to the Mockingjay pin Katniss wears when she's in combat.

8. With Jon Snow not getting to do anything to but have deep thoughts about why this dude has so many daughters while on patrol with the nights-watch, Robb Stark was just dropping tough guy talk everywhere. Three victories are better than three defeats, you're going to be killed by a boy, calls him out on banging his sister, etc! Robb Stark is the show's resident badass, at least until Sir Davos or Jon Snow start slicing people up again.

9. Just when you think the show has grown up, we get a brief scene of some woman at brothel teaching  a whore how to bang. WTF HBO, is this really necessary (I'm cool with it though).

10. What a final scene. All the bastards in King's Landing getting killed including babies! That was super intense, but finally we see the ultimate bastard Gendry Baratheon, and he's rolling with Arya Stark! Such an amazing final scene and killer opening episode.