January 25, 2010

24 Points About 24: 8:00-9:00PM


Have You Seen My Brother, Jason Schwartzman? He's Got A Phantom Planet CD For Me. It's Good for Romancing Russian Women


1.  Kamistan is the country that the 24 writers come up, I'm buying it, but it would have been cooler if it was spelled "CosmicStan" and had some link to the stars or aliens.
2.  Only a dude that had to endure a full season of "Heroes" could relate the struggle of dude dieing of radiation poison in the refrigerator at a shady Russian club.
3. Indian Jason Schwartzman + two Russian prostitutes = First threesome in 24 history, it's a shame it wasn't between Kim, Renee, and Nadia from season 6 (I'm sorry about that one Mom)
4. Technically Chloe has been working on Jack's cover profile for 20 minutes, which is 24 time is an eternity, but I understand, creating a cover for Jack Bauer is difficult task.
5. Dana Walsh-Jenny Scott-Ex-Convict-Accomplice to murder-Wife to be of FPJ-romantic interest of Arlo-and MOST STUPID CHARACTER  IN 24 HISTORY.

6. For Russian's the best pain medication is vodka, and now Renee won't even let him have it, jeez, I hate to be her kids on Christmas, she wouldn't give them anything.
7. The people who make 24 still have to understand that at 8:19PM in New York City there is traffic  and no one just wears their sun glasses at night and just cruises around.
8. The ads for "Edge of Darkness" make me dream of the day that the Jack Bauer 24 Hour becomes a feature length film.
9. Anil Kapoor brings it very hard on the acting front in every single scene he's in, and he rocks a pretty sick nasty goatee, what a combo.
10. Vodka is the cure all tonic for Russians, this dude gets his thumb sawed off, pops a bottle of Grey Goose and is strutting down the streets like a boss 30 minutes later.
11. It's funny how all the villain henchmen in this season could also be in sixties rock bands and now are studio musicians in New York city.
12. The only thing that could remedy this absolutely horrendously terrible Dana Walsh, wanna be Eric Dane meets AJ Soprano, would be if J Sully from Avatar burst through the wall on Tarok Mak'Tu and took everyone to Pandora where they were judged in front of Eywa, and Eywa told them, you're plot line sucked, go stand under home tree while it collapses.
13. Buddy of mine points out that during our little domestic drama scene the bro from Beaumont is just chilling in the back watching football and holding the remote like he's Harry Potter wielding a wand.
14. The subplot about Renee's dark experience while undercover is one of the most mature story line 24 has tackled and the show is all the better for it.
15. Having Chloe feed Jack feed Renee information is a great spin on the usual 24 and shows how the writers still have some tricks up their sleeves. Also props to episode director Brad Turner for executing the scene so well.
16. The doctor who the Russian bros go see looks like a hipster Daniel Day Lewis.

17. What came first CTU Director Hastings or CTU Director Hasting's bluetooth? By the way check out this bluetooth ancestor on the right>>>>>
18. Any episode where Jack spends a majority of his time in a talking in his car is not a great episode.
19. Jack got two dammits in two this episode, I wish there were more.
20. The color tone in the episode is unusual for 24. It's a stark shade of vibrant autumn reds and oranges and muted greens and grays.
21. Ahhh, Jack Bauer hears Renee's speech about living an empty life in his earpiece and realizes that she is basically explaining Jack's own life. Heavy....brah....heavy.
22. The last scene saved the entire episode.
23. What we got here is a classic case of a television show that spent all of it's budget on the premiere and didn't have any ideas left for the 5th episode.
24. Once again, I don't like repeating points but I'm pretty sure Bauer was in the car for 98% percent of the episode.

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