Weekend Preview: Is it still Furious?

Unless they are all driving hybrid station wagons, I'm pretty sure it's still fast. But is it still furious? The original film "The Fast and the Furious" came out over eight years ago in June. Eight years is a long time, the world has changed. Since the last film came out, the economy blew out all of it's tires, a new President was elected, the 9/11 attacks occurred, and Vin Diesel went from promising action God, to weakling SCI-FI wanna be actor.

Let's be honest, these movies are based on pure thrills. They are basically racing video games with actors. But as time changed and video games and media has gotten better, where does a film like this fit into society. One can play the "Burnout" series and see spectacular crashes. Hell, you can even play "Wheelman" starring Vin Diesel himself.

The success of this film depends on it's ability to deliver new thrills. When I saw the first one in the movie, it felt like a car race film for my generation. All the cars were souped up street racers, not old school muscle cars, the drivers were young. Here's hoping that 8 years has nott changed anything and that those "original parts" haven't rusted in the face of history.

Wolverine And The Great Fanboy Dilemma

Almost a week ago, I said that "Wolverine" was the movie that was going to kick-start the popcorn bucket goodness of the summer movie season. And now yesterday, a working DVD print of the upcoming summer flick "Wolverine" leaked onto the internet. Anybody who knows how to download movies (which is about every male between the ages of 12-25) could be watching it in hours. And every fanboy, the same people who have been analyzing each trailer frame by frame (I would not't be doing that, nope, no, not me) had the opportunity to get their claws on their beloved X-Men Opus early.

To watch or not to watch? To snikt or not to snikt? These are the questions fanboys faced yesterday. The big websites for geeks posted articles saying they don't support early reviews or the piracy of the print. I see through this claim, it's obvious the film geeks who depend on the studios for "scoops" don't want to damage their relationship with the studios. I get it, but quit with the Holier Than Thou business. If someone presented with one of these websites a chance to peep, let's say, Star Wars Episode 7 early, they would break into studios ninja style to do it, wait, kind of just described the plot to an actual movie.

While I don't support piracy, I was tempted to peep the movie yesterday. Then I realized one of the best things in the world are midnight screenings for nerdastic movies. Nothing matches the excitement of staying up late, getting a large coke to stay awake, and geeeeeking out with an audience that knows every name on the mutant database in X2. I'm going to wait. And with that comment, I have let my nerd flag fly a little to high. I'm going to ummm, drink some beer, and watch some baseball!

How Does The Recession Impact Celebrity Culture

The economy of the United States (and the world) is metaphorically being attacked by robots, aliens, zombies, giant bugs, dinosaurs, giant mutant sharks, vampires, werewolves, and well you get the picture. The reality is that the undoing of our economy is our own fault. We allowed for things to move along without any regulation, and here we are.

So what is the effect on our celebrity culture? None really. In these tough times, it may just add to the scope of it. I feel like people are looking to the make-believe (like Megan Fox, Transformers babe above) as an escape from their real and difficult lives. Evidence of this is the massive box office for 2009. We view celebrities as almost untouchable princes and princesses. Their lives are like windows into a dream world that we wish we could live. Of course the flip side is that we are wickedly happy when they go off the rails. It makes us feel better about our own difficult personal lives .

So far we haven't seen Brad Pitt looking for work on the corner or struggling over his budget. Once that happens, things will be real crazy and we'll need a whole new set of metaphors.

24 Points About 24: Hour 16

1. Jack probably has no problem undressing for a gorgeous doctor. What is this, Grey's Anatomy?
2. The reference to the scars is a cute nod to the Season 2 soldering iron torture sequence. If you don't know, in Season 2 Jack was tortured with soldering iron and electricity and then actually "died." Luckily he came alive five minutes later and killed everyone who tortured him with the same devices that killed him.
3. I just want to point out that the terrorists are cruising around D.C. in a flatbed truck with a WMD on the back, and also with a bunch of dudes with guns dressed in black.
4. Great sequence with Tony and Hodges, Carlos Bernard, holds his own against Jon Voight, who's a pretty good actor. If you don't know this you obviously haven't seen "Deliverance"
5. Once again Hodges manages to compare someone to children. In this one case it's Greg, "come on young man."
6. Tim, aka, the coolest dude in the White House, is once again the most knowledgeable bro in the building and the main meng in the House with a cell phone that can call anyone, anywhere. Better than Obama's blackberry? Hell yeah.
7. I'm going to get all Bob Thompson on everybody and say that Agent Moss starts appearing with a bulletproof vest once he turns to Jack's side (a.k.a. the good side). The bulletproof vest symbolizes this trust and his new power.
8. I love Agent Walker, but her acting when she found about Jack was exposed was weak. She looked like she just lost on a date to the prom. "What, you're telling me, Jack's going to the Prom, with....Janeane?"
9. READ THOSE INFORMATION PACKETS!!!! If you can't read listen to my boy Tim, with da magic cell phone, he has a sweet google maps presentation for you. He even has street view.
10. This African American on the White House staff with a deep booming voice and giant ears is a nice nod to Obama, and when I say, nod, I mean violent head nodding.
11. For the first time on 24 just got killed over Redskins tickets. That's Washington for you.
12. "How you doing" asks the Doctor to Jack. "Well I'm doing great and really hoping that this pathogen doesn't kill me, in fact I'm hoping it makes me superhuman so I can go kill all those weakling "Heroes" on NBC."
13. Jack is infected, oh man, one step closer to the rumored zombie season featuring the long awaited dream team of Jack Bauer, Curtis Manning, Ryan Chapelle, George Mason, Edgar Stiles, Michelle Dessler, and wait for it Milo Pressman
14. Greg, we all know you're doing the "right thing," as Tony says, but come on, your're doomed to die before this day is done.
15. That footage recovered from Sangala was some of the most disturbing footage ever on "24"
16. The President's speech against Starkwood continues the theme of comparing the fictional organization to the all to real Blackwater. The part about giving them military contracts, letting them do on missions, it's all real.
17. What is "Webx" and A) Is it related to Spiderman and B) How much is Cisco paying to make sure that we know "Webx" belongs to them.
18. I think the "I earned this" is interesting. It dives deep into Jack's motivations, he feels that he earns combat time." You also get a feeling of the importance of saving people in Jack's life.
19. Great shot at the 48 minute mark of Jack walking alone in the FBI.
20. The Starkwood chemical weapon holding trailer looks a lot like the canister yard that that the canister came from in the first place
21. Why aren't they coming in stealth mode to Starkwood? They're annoucing they're coming in, what is that about. Haven't they played Splinter Cell?
22. All these helicopters flying around has got to cost FOX a pretty penny. Whatever, they practically print money with American Idol, glad they're spending it on Helicopters on 24, instead of more judges on Idol. What a minute, I just revealed I know more about Idol than I should have.
23. Seaton's con on Tony was impressive. He even conned me, see post #11 and post #14.
24. For an episode with no body count, this was one of the best episodes of the season. In the past an episode like this was usually a filler, but with this season they have taken the writing to a whole new level.

The Pussycat Dolls are Problematic

The other night I found myself watching the "Kid's Choice Awards" on Nickelodeon. Now I now most adults don't watch this, but, for the sake of staying mysterious let's just say it was not my choice. For the most part it was cool, celebrities got covered in slime, the Jonas Brothers proved their South Park episode was spot on, and it seemed like all the 8 year olds in the audience were really dialed into the whole thing. Then the Pussycat Dolls took the stage.

I'd never had a problem with "PCD", I always thought they were hot pop-stars doing there thing. When their single "When I grow up" hit the air-waves, I thought, great here we go again. But BOOM, when I saw this song performed live, I realized there was something wrong. Peep the lyrics

When I grow up

I wanna see the world

Drive nice cars

I wanna have groupies

This is a strange message to be delivering to the the youth of America. Hell yeah, I wanted to see the world when I was little, I've seen some it, it's pretty wild. That's a cool message that I can jive with, but all this business about fast cars and groupies, it pushes my buttons. I know our culture is insanely materialistic, but damn, this Pussycat dolls aren't beating around the bush here. Whatever happened to telling kids that they can be what they wanna be? Being a doctor? Maybe a nice car, but no groupies. Being a teacher, probably not going to be famous. I can't control the dolls, but I wish they would think a little bit more about their audience.

Is This the Start Of The Summer Movie Season?

Is it finally here? Has the summer season arrived? The days of sitting through terrible winter films like "Push" and "Pink Panther 2" have been crushed by the impending summer movie behemoth? This week we have "Monsters Vs. Aliens" and the week after that we got "Fast and Furious," and then, and then, we have "Dragonball: Evolution?" Come on Hollywood, way to deflate the momentum. Jeah, I'm aware that the Hannah Montana movie opens the same week as Dragonball, and yeah I don't consider either of them a summer flick.

So I'm going to make this clear, don't be tricked by this glorious two week movie period.  The popcorn tubs are going to overflow until May, when "Wolverine" claws our faces up with his awesomeness (Snikt, Snikt).

Another indicator that summer movies have not truly arrived is the stinking laundry heap of a movie called "The Haunting in Connecticut." Why does it have to take place in Connecticut? Are there tax incentives to shoot there? Does Connecticut just happen to sound better in the audio mix? Something tells me "Tha Haunting in Maine" doesn't have the same ring to it. Then again, a movie about a haunting in Maine, complete with ghost lobsters and possessed lobsta men with thiaaacck maine accents could be a classic.

Where are the Wild Things? Eating negative buzz

This trailer is the dropping science all over the internet today, and was spreading knowledge like a literary professor all day yesterday. What some people, but not everyone know, is that this movie has been stuck in limbo for a long time. The film has been finished for over a year, but disputes with the studio delayed it. One article last year said the entire film would be re-shot to be more kid friendly.

But like the thundering footsteps that open the trailer, all of a sudden people are thrilled about this film. It has to be one of the biggest turn-arounds ever. This film was barely even on people's radar during the weekend, and now it has become one of the biggest films of the year.

There are a couple reasons why this trailer hits so hard. The first is the soundtrack: Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" really sets the alternative tone. The second is the look of the film: like nothing we've seen before. Sunlight dances on tree branches, oceans crash, and nature falls around us. The decision to go with the animatronic suits instead of CGI looks to have really paid off. And finally, the overall tone of the film is full of magic. This doesn't look like a movie, it looks like a joyous event celebrating the spirit of youth and imagination.

That's all I got for now, but take a look at this test scene from the film. It's strange, gorgeous to look at, and at least for me, incredibly touching.

Komodo Dragon Attack

"The fisherman was inside the park when he went looking for sugar-apples. The area was forbidden for people to enter as there are a lot of wild dragons."

Yesterday a story broke on CNN about a dude who was attacked by Komodo dragons. The quote above is from the article. First things first, my heart goes out the victim's family, that is a tough way to go. But, anyway, Komodo dragons, are you kidding? How long have people been sleeping on this totally badass beast?

I knew about them when I was kid, but it was more like, yeah, they're big Iguanas, not ferocious predators from Jack Hannah's nightmares. Check out their abilities.

Up to 10 feet in Length
Toxic Paralyzing Bite
Run as Fast as Dogs
Jump up On their Hind Legs
Kill Animals With Their Tails

When I read that, I think a couple of things. The first, obviously the Dragon is the real King of the animal word, forget Lions. I've seen Lions in zoos, have I seen Komodo Dragons? No, because any attempt to capture them, the zoologists got destroyed. The second, how much would it suck to meet one of these in the wild? And finally, WHERE IS THE KOMODO DRAGON MOVIE? I've seen "Anaconda", wait let me rephrase that, I greatly enjoyed Anaconda. I've sat through "Deep Blue Sea" (It wasn't as good as Anaconda). And I never saw "Bats." I'm waiting for the KOMODO DRAGON movie, and no "The Curse of the Komodo" does not count. I want Ice Cube and Cole Hauser suiting up with some hardware and facing off against the beast.

24 Points About 24: Hour 15

1. Agent Moss has some serious bling bling on his wrist for an FBI agent. How do you afford that? I'm saying that you afford that by taking payments from bad guys.
2. It's nice to have Jack and Tony both be fugitives, hopefully they will really be fugitives, and stay on the low. They could use some pointers considering that Tony was chilling at a cafe last episode, when he got the call from Jack.
3. "Maybe this day will end on a positive note...," come on we got 9 hours left, there is plots to be foiled, moles to be revealed, and terrorists to ice.
4. I find the scene with Ethan and the President to be very atypical for "24." It is rare the personal consequences of human actions (beside Jack) are shown in a way that feels real. Usually it's like I got twins on the way and I don't wanna die, ahhhhh.
5. Jon Voight has got a huge bluetooth and he still feels the need to hold his phone about 6 inches from his mouth.
6. "They're six year olds and they need to eat their carrotts," great line that follows up well to last week's toothpaste line.
7. A friend points out that corporate logo of Starkwood cannot even be more threatening. I mean it's the world in the crosshairs, literally.
8. Jon Voight's speech to the Starkwood board yet another example of how the writers are pistol whipping us with the concept that "Starkwood=Blackwater."
9. This episode makes me feel real good about our port security. Yeah, I'm running an electronic scheme on the side, what's he doing, hoarding Wii's til the Holiday season.
10. Phones are out, cell phones jammed. Bauer, you gotta tweet that info right now, remember 140 characters or less.
11. A promise from Bauer might as well be a death certificate (but not always)
12. The helpless security guard not only has a cute wife, but she's having twins. What is it with this season and establishing the families of the people who are in danger.
13. Where do they find evil lurking henchmen to fill our the ranks on this show? Are they coming from across the land to play bad guys in this show? Wait a minute, they definitely are?
14. The picture of the President and Ethan is classic 24 moment, where was that taken, the Camp David hot dog eating contest?
15. The scene with the journalist walking around backstage is probably the cheapest 24 shoot ever, just hit up any FOX news outlet.
16. The girl working on Mayers computer, aka the one with the sideburns is the bootleg Janeane Garafalo, who is a bootleg Chloe.
17. If the FBI is searching the area I wonder if they would find the dude with a screwdriver hole in his chest and the two by four splinters now living in his eyebrows.
18. Props to Jack to saving the guards life. But great point by Tony there. The ethical debates continue to aid in he show.
19. Is that truck about to transform into Optimus Prime (SICK VIDEO) (from my friend Colosus)
20. In a firefight everyone shoots from hiding behind a car, Jack Bauer stands up straight, proud and blasts everyone.
21. The theme of Jack or Tony jumping from high objects to something below is a theme of the season.
22. What are they working on at the Starkwood lab, there's tinfoil everywhere. They baking tuna casseroles?
23. What are the consequences of Jack being exposed? Will he grow another set of arms to kill terrorists. Will he merge with his weapons and become a terminator?
24. Overall this season keep surprising me. Maybe I'm getting older, but I'm enjoying the talking parts of this season. I mean I still lost my mind during that gunfight, especially when the guy on the catwalk got blasted, but the talking points are well written and enjoyable

AIG: Villains?

In the past villains have reflected the times. Nazi's were the big bad guys in WWII, communists were all the rage in the cold war, and Islamic terrorists dominated media at the start of the century (you can thank my boy BAUER, for helping take care of them). And now in these times, we have our new villains: AIG.

When it was revealed the extent of the bonuses being rewarded with taxpayer dollars, everyone though the pitchforks and torches would be out in the streets in no time. Guards were posted outside the building, memos were circulated internally about safety, and the President went on Leno to talk about all of it. The problem is,  some of these AIG folks are seriously morally bankrupt, but they are not villains.

Now, it is possible that they have large henchmen with huge necks and enormous biceps guarding their secret bases in Volcanoes, but I don't think so. These evil people taking our money are basically just really smart nerds who understand economics better than 99% of the world . And nerds don't make good villains. I mean, did anybody see Duplicity this weekend?

Think of the best villians: The Joker, Hannibal Lecter, Keyzer Sose may all be cunning, but they are also physically threatening. There is nothing scary about these AIG types, they're just geeks. So when it comes to villians in movies, I'll take my gigantic evil robots and psychotic clowns.

I kind of like you I Love You Man

"I Love You, Man" is a decent movie. You know everything that's going to happen, and you'll smile and laugh a plenty. Will this film win Academy Awards? Naw. Will this film be heavily quoted by dudes throwing hatchets out in the woods? Nope. Is this film a perfect hybrid raunchy comedy and date night movie? Absolutely.

The relationship between Peter (Rudd) and Zooey (Rashida Jones) is the strongest part of the film. It feels real, they are happy together, have small fights, and most importantly feel like a authentic couple with all-to familar problems.

Segal and Rudd are funny, but the film lacks that complete knock it out of the park laughs that "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" had. There is one bodily function related gag that hits hard, but thankfully there is only one. Anymore would have detracted from the romantic aspects of the whole package.

So yeah, if you've got a gal, I'd hit up this movie for a good date. Otherwise, if you are trying to "bro" out with your boys, grab some beers and watch "Punisher War-Zone" with your boys on DVD. Peep the steelo below

I love you, man, cause you're my friend, and this is a friendship, not a bromance

First, off, what's with the pink border on this photo, very un bro.....brah. Anyway much has been made about how the new movie "I Love You, Man" is just a part of the "bromance" trend chugging and hugging it's way through popular culture. There's the show "Bromance," every single Judd Apatow movie, and of course "I Love You, Man."  But I say that this all is bullshit.

Bromance is just a word created by the media for friendship. What is a bromance? I don't know. I guess it's dudes that like to hang out together. If that's true, I guess I've been a participant in bromance every since I used to eat Dunkaroos regulate on fools while playing "Battletoads" and "Contra" with  my buddies in my youth.

And while I'm at it. This show "Bromance" is not about bros, it's about hollywood tools. Real bro's don't make TV shows about each other, they do cool things, like throw hatchets in trees, watch Arnold movies, and crush beers. There is no room for hair gel with bros. Here's a  bro rule, if you spent more than 20 bones on your haircut, you're dangerously close to no bro territory.

The film "I Love You, Man" does a pretty good job of showing friendship, but I'll hit on that tomorrow in my reviews, later......bro.

I Love You Nicknames

Last night, I was fortunate to catch a preview screening of "I Love You, Man." While I'll drop the review on Friday, I wanna talk about a crucial part of this film: nicknames. Nicknames are an essential part of the male vernacular. I'm not sure if women are as big fans as nicknames as men are, but I can tell you that a decent part of my collegiate career was dedicated to creating, and maintaining nicknames for people.

I believe the reason for this is the simple fact that nicknames provide a jolt of excitement into life. For example let's say your name was Robert Jones, decent name, I don't know any Robert Joness. But if Robert Jones was a huge geek and looked something like this dude then...
You could call him R2D2! And considering that Robert Jones potentially has dedicated himself to finding aliens, he'd probably be down with the nickname and his life, and ours, would be more exciting cause he'd be chilling with us dropping Star Wars cred like he was a Jedi.

So, if you catch "I Love You, Man" this weekend, you'll see a whole bunch of nicknames. And just know, that they like, football, beer, Madden, Halo, chicks, and scandalous websites are a crucial part of the 21st century male.

24 Points About 24: Hour 14

YOU'RE DONE SON!!

1. Jack's elbow can crack through car windows without any bodily harm, to tell you the truth, I'm not surprised.
2. Morris O Brien, living his life just fine, surprising since he was kind of responsible for nuking half of Los Angeles last year, but yeah, great to see he turned it around.
3. Agent Renee Walker definitely changed her shirt, and in the process, got some type of push-up bra, looks like she's going for fashion instead of function
4. Bauer uses iphoto, and Sprint products, he uses the Instinct mobile, but Walker is stuck using some bogus flip phone, Agent Walker talk to your sponsors.
5. "Bauer is an extremely impressive operative," says Quinn. Well sounds like we have ourselves a rivalry. Kind of like Cobra and G.I. Joe, Optimus Prime and Megatron, and Joker and Batman, and Obama and AIG.
6. "Pack your toothbrushes, it's going to be a long night." Glad the terrorists care about our teeth
7. Only once in this episode did it occur to me that Agent Moss is a great model FBI agent, he follows the rules, is combat ready, and has a great sense of when his agency is compromised. But since this is 24, we hate him.
8. At first I was losing my mind, when I saw that the President and her daughter changed clothes since the last episode. Then I realized that all there clothes were probably battle stained covered in terrorist blood and dust. I guess those two factors make a wardrobe change acceptable in the 24 universe (but not for Jack!).
9. Once again, Agent Moss steals Jack Bauer's best line. "DAMMIT!"
10. You know I just realized that Senator Mayer guy, who if you read my comments, my Mom wished died last week, is the Dad from That 70's show.
11. Starkwood's description from Senator Mayer is once again a perfect description of the real life Blackwater organization.
12. Bauer is an expert at avoiding tough answers. Jack on the High School football team "Jack do you wanna play offense of defense?" "I'm going in," says Bauer.
13. The music playing when the President took the stage in front of the press corps, probably the only happy music every played on 24.
14. Mad props to the writers for making us think that Ethan was crooked at the beginning of the season, now we are sympathizing with him as the little she-devil Olivia has her way with him.
15. Wayyyyyy too much Janeane Garafalo in this episode. Shouldn't she be starring in the sequel to the Cats and Dogs movie, sorry if I've already mentioned this, but it's the only movie I know she stars in.
16. Morris is such a pushover, that's two seasons in a row he caves in when pressured. He did last season, granted he was getting a power drill stuck in his back, but seriously man, have a little self integrity.
17. It's cool how in how the eyes of the FBI, Bauer is following a pattern of a killer going after the people who threatened him. First Burnett, then the Senator, who's next?
18. Bauer is logging a lot of time of the computer this episode.
19. I really enjoy the scenes during this season that wax poetic on the ethics and value theory of 24, I find it to be not only responsible on the behalf of the show runners, but also a testament to the skill of the writers to fit these meditations into the story.
20. Lots lots lots lots of exposition connecting Starkwood to Juma, lots of talking, better be lots of action next week, cause this is a lot of talking.
21. Definitely did not see the senator getting iced up like that. I was like, oh man, the producers have established a sense of trust, Jack's got a new ally, then BAM BAM, well actually, since it was silent bullets it was like tweet tweet.
22. The President has been reduced from a leader to an inter-staff mediator in a few short minutes.
23. THE FIRST BAUER KILL OF THE SEASON, HELL YEAH, BOUT TIME WE GOT IT, AND IT WAS FRESH. SCREW DRIVER INTO THE CHEST FOLLOWED BY A 2 BY 4 SMASH!
24. Did anybody catch how Jack used the weapon to start the stolen car?

Phish Comes Alive Brah!

The red dots to not represent hippies minds melting as Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio rips a solo on YEM, they represent the amount of ladies at the Phish show. You see as rock stardom usually goes, the band shred, pounds, and yells to the gorgeous adoring smoking hot Babe-brah-ham Lincoln chicks in the front row. Well I guess things are a little different for Phish.

I'm glad that Phish is back together, they are an awesome band. I enjoy many of their songs and have some really positive memories attached to some of their tracks. However, that being said, out all the musical acts in the world, they are my favorite to poke fun at. For example take this sentence, that I 100% guarantee was once spoken at a Phish show a some point in the history of the Universe

Ah, brah, the show was so amazing mon, when they busted out the trampolines in Weekapaug brah, and they went into Tweezer, then into 2001, then back in Weekapaug brah, that was crazy brah, and the gooball was really in effect too mon"

If I was a kid I would be seeing "Race to Witch Mountain"

"Short Circuit", "The Last Starfighter," and "Suburban Commando." These are all movies which were popping off like champagne corks when I was kid. No, I was not drinking booze when I was child, I was drinking up dope fantasy action flicks. And this weeks "Race to Witch Mountain" looks like it's one of those throwback flicks. Of course, based off the trailer it looks to have great special effects and plenty out of out of this world moments.

The other flick opening this week is "The Last House On The Left." It tells the story of a family who gives shelter to a bunch of drifters only to learn that those drifters seriously messed up their own daughter earlier in the day. Yeahhhh, I'm not interested. When it comes to horror, I want horror that involve monsters eating people, not hyper realistic human on human killing. From what I can tell, this flick is completely devoid of zombies, killer sharks, killer rabbits, demons, or aliens.

Speaking of aliens, in "Witch Mountain" there are aliens, which makes me wonder. What would a blend of the two films look like. "The Last House on Witch Mountain." I think it would be a drama.

This LA Life: Meter Maids

THE METER TEAM OF LOS ANGELES

There are no meter maids in LA. Rather there is a meter armada, full of battle trained meter checkers determined to give you a ticket. The other day, I was cruising on Highland (for all you Non-Angeles residents, that a big street in Hollywood) and saw 4 meter maids working together printing up tickets like Willy Wonka, except there were no Golden Tickets, just astronomically costly ones.

The average ticket price in Hollywood is 55 smackarooos, that's a lotta loot. It's make me wonder about the life of the Meter team. I mean these people are consciously ruining peoples days. Yeah I know it's their jobs and that's the way the circle of life (or parking) works, but what do these people do when they park their cars? Are they part of secret society that gets them off the hook for parking violations? Perhaps there is a special way they arrange their wipers when they park that signals to their brethren not to give them a ticket.

Bottom line, be on the lookout, the meter team doesn't sleep, they subside on a diet of parking tickets and broken bank accounts, and they're coming for you. Crazy, yeah, but it's part of thislalife .

Heroes: The First TV Show I Quit

I love super-heroes, in fact I don't eat organic food cause I figure food with preservatives and chemicals just gets me a little closer to the chance of getting powers. So when "Heroes" came along I was hooked, I dug the "Crash" like intersecting plot-lines, the mysteries, and oh yeah the powers. When the season one finale was a massive, epic, "how did they mess this up" letdown, I figured it was a small bump in the road.

Turns out that bump morphed turned in a huge gigantic mountain that rivals the size of Mount Doom. This is a show that I used to post on message boards about (yeah, what, I said it), and now, for the first time ever with any, I straight up quit. Call me the villain but I'd rather be reading comics, building underground caves, or thinking about new ways to gain super powers then watching the show.

The reason I was left the team was because of one thing: inconsistency. Characters powers, allegiances, and motivations were always changing, and not in a natural narrative based way.  It was fun watching for a while, mainly because I could crack jokes with my pal about how bad it was, but eventually I had to move on. Sometimes I wonder about the characters and what they're doing, but then I go watch "Lost" and "24" and realize that I'm not missing anything at all.

24 Points About 24: Hour 13

1. The Vice President is so shook, dude has no idea what's going on. I'm not surprised considering the history of 24 Vice Presidents.
2. What is that big ass book General Juma was flipping through before he grabbed the President away from her daughter. The Constitution? Twilight? The Patriot Act?
3. Release the hostages, I guess in Sangala, that means kill the hostages. Chilling.
4. Those terrorists certainly brought in plenty of audio-video equipment, I'm surprised they are not doing some aging effects like Benjamin Button.
5. Buchanan is looking pretty damn bad ass with that scar!
6. How many times did Juma get blasted, six or seven. I could have gone for a giant epic battle (go to the death of Fayed), sigh.
7. RIP BILL, well done on the silent countdown. His death was pretty classic, only the best 24 heroes go down to save others. George Mason from season 2 comes to mind.
8. Agent Pierce is a 24 warrior, he sprang to action and starting laying down the law, even with a bullet in his shoulder.
9. If "pop in the head" in Sangalan means "release", then "talk to" in Jack Bauer terms "zap with electrodes."
10. Starkwood- adjective followed by a natural element. This is identical to Blackwater the infamous private contractor that ran rampant under the Bush Administration.
11. Agent Moss goes from wuss mega whiner at the Bureau to heroic save the day sharp shooter for Agent Walker, then all the way back to pencil pushing whining loser in a course of 2 short hours.
12. Hmmm, the President's daughter's leaked information to the press, very season one esque.
13. Where was Ethan and Tim the aide during the raid, Ethan just showed up out of nowhere. Where was he? Playing Nintendo Wii with Malia and Sasha?
14. "I've seen Jack do some terrible things today, but he's been right every time." And you there you have it, years of torture justificaiton. Seriously though, the U.S. Government (the real one, not the fake one on the show) loves 24 and uses (or used) it justify policy.
15. Glad to see that John Voight's computer system has a red, white, and blue color scheme. Very different from Dubaku's green scheme.
16. "Quinn good, Bauer's good too." Great line.
17. Interesting that Quinn asked if the old man had a family first. It some ways it loosens the impact of him killing and innocent man, intriguing that the writers felt the need to justify the death of old man in a hospital bed, but countless other people (like all those on the crashed planes) this season don't get justified.
18. Nice to see the writers refer back to Martha Logan, the pyschotic first lady who is one of the most memorable characters on 24.
19. Sprague Grayden (the actress that plays Olivia Taylor) was slumming it in every scene before her little face-off with Ethan.
20. Quinn, looking like Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible 1
21. Jack Bauer interogation of Quinn is a terrifying example of mental torture. "They're not coming for you"
22. The execution of Burnett and the frame up of Bauer was terrifying, and I have a fear the U.S. Government actualy does spy things like this in real life.
23. "DAMMMIT!" Agent Moss steals Jack's best line.
24. This episode was a great set-up episode for future story lines. We got the set-up of the villians, with Quinn looking like a great force opposing Jack. We got Olivia Taylor setting up a White House power struggle. And Jack on the run for real, it will be interesting to see how he fares without Bill watching his back.

Understanding the Watchmen

I did not enjoy the new film "The Watchmen." I found it to be dis-jointed, lacking structure, and most of all, it was an epic endurance test in how long a person can sit in a movie theater. It was too long, and that's all. However, rather than dwell on all the problems in the film, I'll stay positive and tell you a couple of things that I really did like.

1. The Opening Credits- Much as been made of these credits, a alternate history montage set to "The Times Are A Changing" by Bob Dylan. They were as mesmerizing as any thing I've seen on the screen of late, and the one thing in the film that was truly "visionary."

2. Dr. Manhattan's Life- The segment where he talks about how he came to his current state, his failed romance, and he self-awareness of where's come from, where he is, and where he's heading was just as emotional as it was in the book. As for his rampant wang hanging out, dude should have put on some undies.

3. The Comedian- I didn't realize how much I enjoyed him until I realized that he was in almost every interesting scene in the film. The opening fight in the apartment was a great example of contrasting peaceful music with brutal violence (well done in Face/Off). The bar scene in Vietnam with Dr. Manhattan was the best expression of the overall theme of helplessness that runs deep in the movie. And the scene where the The Comedian takes care of the rioters was a perfect example of what the movie could have been and what the comic is, a brilliant examination of hero culture in the United States.

That's it, it was  bad, not terrible, just not good.

How can it be that I'm not that excited for Watchmen?

1. I'm not that excited for "Watchmen" because I do not have childhood memories of it. Unlike Batman, I never read the comic as a child (I read it as a 20 year old). Unlike X-Men, I never watched the TV show at my Grandma's house. Never had the action figures like Transformers. It was just a book (albeit a great one) that I read one summer at the recommendation of my friend.

2. I'm supposed to like it because I'm a nerd. Everyone of my friends who's opinion in life and in "nerd life" (that means I either talk comics, "Lost", "Heroes", or cult movies with) I value, have told me this movie is going to be the bomb.com. I never like it when things are forced on me.

3. I haven't been wowed by the trailers. Yeah, they're cool, but only because it's like , oh, yeah, the movie of the astounding graphic novel is coming out. I never saw anything crazy, or awe inspiring in the trailer, as I did with the "Dark Knight."

4. I'm not a nerd/geek/fanboy anymore. After all, I did give up on "Heroes." In my defense, I stuck with it for so long.

5. I'm still reeling from how mind expandingly fresh "The Dark Knight" was and can't handle another super hero movie now.

6. I don't have a soul, because the movie is going to melt my face it's going to be so awesome.

7. I am Dr. Manhattan, and it doesn't matter if I like it or not, because I already know my opinion.

8. I don't think Zack Synder is a visionary, sorry brah.

My Apologies To General Tso

My Bad

It came to my attention last night that the famous and most delicious Chinese food dish General Tso's chicken is actually pronounced General SAO not General's GAO's. I have to say this revelation was earth shattering, all these years of Chinese food orders, and not one waiter told me. Did they take the order and then retreat to the kitchen to laugh at me, or even worse tamper with my food. Of course these could be paranoid delusions, but it makes me think about how culturally in-sensitive I was and also what other menu items have I been pronouncing wrong. It's WON-TON correct?

Big time Watchmen Post tomorrow.

Taken: God's Revenge

"What I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you"

Liam Neeson has played Batman's mentor, a Jedi master, a brave lion, a savior to Jews, a noble crusading knight, and soon, he will be playing Abraham Lincoln. Simply put he plays wise noble men who have a massive impact on everyone they meet. He's wise, powerful, and commanding. So yes, he's pretty much God.

So if he is God, why are we going bananas over his new movie "Taken" where he goes across Europe killing the people who abducted his daughter? Is 21st Century's resident Diety a cool Morgan Freeman, or a badass gun-wielding father protecting his flock?

Based off the box office for the film, I'd go with the second option. In an age where Bernie Madoff types are walking away with our money and not getting punished, we want to see some type of equalizer. Some people want the courts to do it, and others just figure they'll eventually get what's coming to them. And I guess what's coming for them, is Neeson, the big boss man with the skill set.

24 Points About 24: Hours 10 & 11

1. 6:06 PM R.I.P. Dubaku, your dope acting and criminal genius will be missed. He went out too quick and deserved cooler death.
2. Agent Moss must have gone to Haaahvard, I mean he's using words like contemporaneously.
3. I often over-look the production design on this show, it's so good you don't notice it. There are so many locations, whether it's White House offices, empty ship corridors, city streets, basements. Give it up to Joseph Hodges, he's the production designer and clearly the boss.
4. Agent Moss is so damn jealous of Jack Bauer, and you know what I don't blame him. When you're a pencil pushing bureaucrat, how can you compete with a battle trained U.S. commando for the affections of the resident red-head?
5. Why can the hospital catch up the guy who killed Dubaku, but the entire U.S. Goverment can't catch Dubaku when he's walking out of buildings, riding on trains, chilling outside South Korean convience stores.
6. While I can't help but feel that these scenes discussing Jack's torture report card are tools of the producers to deflate some of the real life heat on the show, I actually find these scenes to be extremely interesting ethical dialogues.
7. And how brilliant that right after it they cut to Jack taking care of business torturing the shit out of Burnett.
8."AND YOU SIR ARE WEAK!" What a Hemingway esque line full of so much weight.
9. Tim the Aide, this dude just shows up out of nowhere, I guess he just hangs out "upstairs" <---direct quote form the President.
10. Agent Walker is much better at inflitrating the docks than she was sneaking into Korean Convience store basements.
11. No matter how many badass African American actors you can find, they all won't be as evil as General Juma.
12. Agent Walker is slinking around on that boat like she was starring in "Entrapment" cerca 1999.
13. Blueprints, blueprints, blueprints, HUGE PICTURE OF THE WHITEHOUSE. I mean how stupid are these commandos: "in case you couldn't tell from all these blueprints men.....this....is....the....White....House.
14. Of course the journalist is stupid, she must be one of those gotcha journalists good ol Sarah Palin spoke about.
15. The White House has a prison, wonder what type of prisoners have stayed there throughout the years. Misbehaving kids, cheating spouses, Willie Nelson, and assorted movie stars.
16. I love how an evil network of African's have quickly replaced an evil network of Middle Easterner's on this show.
17. How did that guy access the secret service tracking grid, was that thing on twitter or something.
18. The White House security is weak sauce, luckily the secret service in real life are not like that, peep this motorcade video.
19. Agent Moss gets a kill in the field, I gotta say I'm a little disapointed, kind of wanted him to stay a weakling.
20. I'm glad that the African terrorists have the brilliant plan of attacking the whitehouse, yet Bill Duke Jr, aka the tech guy they still have a tablet PC with a stylus.
21.Why do secret services agents all walk backwards when they are retreating? That was the easiest way to get rid of resistance I've ever seen.
22. As far as I know we have no agents inside, except Jack Bauer! That's right, we now have our first Die Hard 24 episode
23. I think it's very cool that at one point in this season Jack found himself on the outside of the panic room trying to get in and now he's on the inside on the panic room.
24. This season continues to impress. I enjoyed the combat scenes in the white house,  but once again, what is really taking this season to the next level is the acting and dedication to the show that actors have demonstrated.

24. 5 What is this? 24 is helping the green community, let's see how the conservatives respond to that?

East Bound And Down, A Comedy for the Recession

The new HBO show "Eastbound & Down" is the first comedy that reflects the mood of recession America. It's also one the funniest, crude, tragic, and heartbreaking shows I have ever seen. Kenny Powers, played by Danny McBride, is a World Series winning pitcher who has pretty much lost it all. He does not have an accurate or speedy fastball, his bat that he hit a home run with does not sell for more than 7 dollars on E bay, and he lives at home with his brother's family.

Kenny Powers is the perfect living example of life in post Bush-Era. Just like how the baseball stars of the past and present (yeah A-Roid, I'm talking about you), now have to atone for past sins, Kenny Powers is coming to grip with real life. He's trying to get his life back on track, but he's so stuck on the past, he can't even get anything kick started. This is a great example of the mood in the United States now. We're in a recession, but the people who used to have all the power (bankers, politicians) don't really get it. See the rampant abuse of the bailout money on jets and corporate getaways. They're stuck on their past lifestyle, when they need to change, and get a grip.

My favorite scene of East Bound & Down so far came in the last nights episode. After some prodding by his host mother, Powers decided to give one piece of memorabilia to his nephews, free of charge. It was a touching scene showing the first steps of the giant ass stairway to redemption for Powers. A total far cry from the previous episode where Powers was rolling hard on exstacy at school dance benefit for a kid with cancer.

And while Powers is a total asshole, I'm totally rooting for him on his path for redemption, and you know what, if Kenny Powers is a America, you bet your ass, unlike some people, I'm rooting for America too.